1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Hey just wondering if anyone else had an experience like me

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Looker123, May 1, 2015.

  1. Looker123

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 1, 2015
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Indiana
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hey, I just want to know if I'm 100% gay. I had so many experiences that are very interesting and I want to share it and see if anyone has had any similar experiences.

    Ok, so I have had issues with dealing with my sexuality that I dont want to get into depth, there is so much to it I'd rather share my orientation and sexuality issues.

    When I was in community college in 2013, I had my first ever body response to a black guy that talked to me. We were at the school library and on the computer area. My lower body, from my stomach to my thighs, was hot. I never had something like this ever happen to me before. I had some erections with guys but I amazingly denied it as nothing, lol. I read that when women are aroused their lower parts, from their stomach down to their middle thighs feel hot. Another time, a black man in his 50s was talking to me and asking me questions about my college courses. This was in class. We were talking and he asked me where I was from, I remember I said "I'm from New York, haha". I was shocked at how I responded, I never said haha like that before. Then I unconsciously started to look at his hands and body and thought "I think he can protect me". This also surprised me a lot. I always thought I was straight, but this made me think a lot. I remember feeling something and my classmates felt something, lol. They said " do you feel that". I was shocked at how I was responding.

    Also when I was a bus boy I met my coworker, he was black, and after I talked to him a bit, I bit my lower lip without realizing it. My female coworkers saw this and I was embarrassed, I thought at the time I was straight. I accepted myself as bisexual after that. At my next job, I remember 2 guys that I felt butterflies for. One was white and gay, the second guy was black. The black guy made those butterflies feel stronger. These feelings intensified in my next job, I got erections for my coworker that I sometimes could control. I didn't want to be bisexual or gay at the time. When a black coworker shook my hand, I lost control over it, I couldn't stand near him, my whole body felt different, I got a big erection and it felt good. I was ashamed and I never spoke to him again.

    It wasn't until recently that I just couldn't deny the evidence, I felt a little bit like that for girls but it was never intense. Just a little. So, I THINK I have a female brain since my body responds like one. I know now that I'm gay, but I'm not sure if I'm 100% gay. I just don't feel the same with women, its so rare. I just want to know if you guys experienced the same sexual lusts that were out of your control
     
  2. EpicConfusion

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2014
    Messages:
    944
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Somewhere
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    The thing is, even if you aren't "100%" gay, you can still call yourself gay because your label is your choice. It's pretty obvious from your post that you are strongly attracted to black men, and you said that your attraction to women is not as strong or does not happen often, correct? It is possible that you could be bisexual, or you could be gay.

    I can't say I have experienced anything smiliar to what you are describing, but sometimes I have unwanted physical responses to girls (not in real life, only in porn) but I don't actually want to have sex with girls. I identify as gay, although some people would say that since I respond with sexual arousal to females I would be a bisexual.
     
  3. Countygal

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2015
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Kingston ontario
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I have had similar feelings and tried ignore them even to the extent of getting married to a woman which has lasted for 45 years . I'm still very much attracted to men and now have to deal with it by coming out and telling my wife I'm having a affair with her ex boss. I'm just saying be sure
     
  4. Looker123

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 1, 2015
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Indiana
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Some people
    @Epic Confusion, I trust you more since you are a long time member and active poster. I have not had these feelings around black guys, I was around many and I was expecting me to get an erection.. But nothing happened. Now I get erections for girls!!! This makes no sense... I'm so confused. I even feel like a guy again, I'm not sure if its a phase or if its because many people said I look like a girl, but I dont know. I dont think about guys anymore, and I'm not supressing anything. I thought I was gay last week. I was so sure.
     
  5. EpicConfusion

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2014
    Messages:
    944
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Somewhere
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    To me that sounds like you have a fluid sexuality. You should do some internet research on the subject and see if it sounds like it applies to you.

    Also keep in mind that you would not necessarily have erections around ANY black guys. Maybe you weren't attracted to any of the guys you saw in particular.
     
  6. Looker123

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 1, 2015
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Indiana
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Ok. I never heard about fluid sexuality. Ever. My belief, like every honest person, but ESPECIALLY gay guys, is that there is gay or straight. There might be RARE bisexuals, but I think those are the 3 orientations that the brain knows.

    But I was around the same type of black guy that gave me an erection in the first place. I felt a little bit, but not as much as before. Before I got an erection for almost all of them. But they have gone away, this is weird.

    Maybe it is fluid sexuality, but wouldn't that make me a girl? Girls are fluid sexually. Guys, like gay guys say, are either gay or straight. I don't believe in flipping, this is when a gay guy "flips" straight. My brother in law is like this, and when I knew none of this stuff, I felt and noticed a vast difference in behavior than any straight dude I ever met at that point. He always broke character, it was inconsistent. When he did and I pointed it out, he ould change it. And he was extremely homophobic, yet comfortable flirting with me by trying to touch me. And he belives in that, so do the people who know him. A genuinely straight guy WOULD NEVER be like this. Anyway, I know many "flipped" dudes weaknesses, there are many clues that no gay guy would pick up on, because they don't have the experience in observing these kinds of people.

    I don't believe in sexual fluidity, but I'll research it. Thanks a lot for listening