So. Little backstory. I made a thread ( http://http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexual-romantic-orientation/110001-i-think-i-like-girl-help.html ) back in Sept. 2013 on how my close friend (female like me) has made me question my orientation. Well, after cringing at how awful I wrote as a 13 year old back then, here are some updates. I'm in love her. It's strange saying it, I'll admit, but there isn't any shadow of doubt in me that denies that truth. We've been friends for almost two years now, and I love her. It isn't platonic, I'm sure of that. She knows I had a crush on her before. When I was thirteen and stupid, I'd been whispering to friends that I liked her. It wasn't a surprise when she received the word. And instead of ending our tightly-knitted bond, she laughed it off and insisted that it didn't matter to her. She didn't see me the way I saw her, but she still remained as my friend — and we surprisingly bonded more, much to my delight. I never stopped liking her, and the more we bonded, the more my feelings grew. Months have passed. We're closer than ever — she assumes that I don't see her in that way anymore. So. Yeah. I'm in love with my best friend. I'm coming over to her house tomorrow to watch some romcoms and play video games. We've hung out before, but I always get butterflies in my stomach whenever I see her. I've never felt this way with a boy. And here's the problem. Before I met her, I was trying to get myself to like boys. In my first thread I talked about having some posters of hot guys and boy bands on my wall which I'll confess now is only 1% true. I've only had one poster, and that was because I liked the guy's fashion attire, and not his looks. Still, I'm pretty sure I felt feelings around certain boys, and had even dated one for a few weeks until I had that feeling that it just wasn't right. Sure, I find them attractive... but most of my crushes were female. Even my first crush was a girl. At first I thought of myself as bisexual. Until I met my best friend. She's helped me realize more about myself than I would have ever learned alone. All sexual/romantic interest I had for boys just somehow ended when I met her. I find some attractive, sure, but it's more of like admiration than anything else. I definitely noticed sexual and romantic attraction towards girls and my best friend, on the other hand. Most of my friends know that I'm into girls, but I'm still uncertain of what I am. If you have any words of advice to help me out, that would be so appreciated. Thank you for being such a great community, your posts have helped me throughout the months.
What do you think would happen if you told her how you feel? Is she open to that, or totally straight?
She knows that I like girls, yeah, and she accepts me for who I am. I don't think she's open to that, though, she's straight — or that's what she says she is. I have never told her about the fact that I'm in love with her. I'm afraid of our friendship breaking and to me I would rather keep the platonic relationship we have so I can just move on.
I can understand that. It can be hard to tow the friendship line when you have romantic feelings... Many of us have been there.
It has also been almost a year for me since I first started questioning. Like you, I'm out as gay to most people. Inside I'm still uncertain however. I can't shake these feelings that I can't be gay. I KNOW I am, but sometimes I just keep doubting it. It helps to not think about it as much as possible. Just tell yourself that you're 100% confident in your gayness and after a while I bet you'll feel better about it.
It has also been almost a year for me since I first started questioning. Like you, I'm out as gay to most people. Inside I'm still uncertain however. I can't shake these feelings that I can't be gay. I KNOW I am, but sometimes I just keep doubting it. It helps to not think about it as much as possible. Just tell yourself that you're 100% confident in your gayness and after a while I bet you'll feel better about it.
It has also been almost a year for me since I first started questioning. Like you, I'm out as gay to most people. Inside I'm still uncertain however. I can't shake these feelings that I can't be gay. I KNOW I am, but sometimes I just keep doubting it. It helps to not think about it as much as possible. Just tell yourself that you're 100% confident in your gayness and after a while I bet you'll feel better about it. ---------- Post added 3rd May 2015 at 04:44 PM ---------- Sorry about that everyone... I don't know what happened.
