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Converting to heterosexuality!

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by sappho06, May 3, 2015.

  1. sappho06

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    First of all, I know that people don't choose their sexual orientation. Just trying to reassure some...
    Haven't some of you lesbian or gay or anything in between, ever wanted to just be straight?

    I really want to know what it's like to be straight (yeah, that's weird)... I mean, I want to fit in, and not look or act "like a dyke". I've never actually been with anyone, but I came out to my friends and parents. I want to wake up and find that I'm attracted to guys. Just for a day or so. And I want to act feminine (whatever that means) and enjoy being girly. I doubt it'll ever happen though...

    I just re-read this, it's pretty dumb. I actually love being a lesbian, but it makes it so much harder to find someone. I haven't even had my first kiss. I'll wait for the right person, but they're all straight...

    I think the most frustrating is that I'll never have a "normal" life. Just for tgat, I'd want to be straight, even if I have to force myself. I want to have children of my own. With the person I love. And sure, you can adopt, or get sperm donation or whatever, but I want a child with my partner. And if I marry a woman, we can't. Yet if I marry a man, we can have a child, but I won't be in love with him, so there's no point. Actually, there's no point to this post, just me being frustrated. Being gay sucks. Well it's grest, but it's unfair that we live in a place where it's not fully accepted it's not fair that I'll never get to carry the child of my partner...
     
  2. Chiroptera

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    That depends on your personal tastes or personality, not you orientation. There are lots of girly lesbians!

    That's true. But look at the bright side: Things are a lot better than they were a few years ago. Yes, there is still a long way to go, but things are getting better more and more each day. Slowly, but getting better.

    You mentioned adoption or sperm donation, so there are options. Adoption in special is an act of great kindness and love, in my opinion.

    I understand though what you mean. Science is working on it.

    Two-Father Babies Could Soon Be Possible, With No Egg Donor Required | IFLScience

    Hugs (*hug*)
     
  3. Camel

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    I understand this. I even read a book published by a conservative Catholic press called 'The Battle for Normality', which was a sort of do it yourself guide to becoming straight! For me it was more about a desire to conform to religious and societal norms, because of a lack of self confidence. I now realise that trying to be who you think other people want you to be is simply a road to misery (and in my case alcoholic self-destruction)
     
  4. sappho06

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    Thanks for the replies. I think I'm starting to get a bit confused about gender expression and stuff... which is annoying because I've finally accepted that I'm gay and now it's something else. I am thinking that I could force myself to be straight. I could come out again (as straight), get a boyfriend and see how that goes. It's tempting, but I'd be unhappy. I guess I'm just gonna have to figure this out. I'm surrounded by really supportive people though, but I guess it's a bit of innsr-homophobia?

    @Camel, I hope you're okay now. :slight_smile: I used to drink quite a bit on my own, but I've stopped before it became an addiction.
     
  5. sweetfemme90

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    I think I have similar experiences to you. I mean, all of my gay relationships have failed at this point in my life. The community is unstable with relationships and I never find the security and stability I want. I mean why would I be okay with multiple failed relationships in my life?

    It's so tempting to try to change all of this. I know I could never be in love with a man, and connect with one the way I do with a woman. The part about a heterosexual marriage to me is if I were to marry a Christian man with good morals and upbringing we would have a fantastic life together. We could raise children, I would work part-time but primarily be a home-maker, we would have each other. The benefit for me would be the security and stability that isn't in the LGBT community. Working on trying to gain those things are nearly impossible. The love in the LGBT community is amazing, the sex is fantastic, the community is wonderful- but stable and secure it is not.

    Writing this I understand how silly my own post is, but this is the truth. I wish I were straight and could live that fantasy life however it is only a fantasy. This does not reflect the reality of life. Just because something sounds great in a fantasy doesn't mean it translates the exact same in reality. I can see a lot of disastrous things happening if I chose to leave the LGBT community and tried to 'straighten' myself out.
     
  6. Foxfeather

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    Well... maybe you should just try it for one day. Dress girly, be normal. See how it suits you. Just try it and see if it works better for you--not just in terms of how it makes you feel about how society looks at you, but how much it suits you as you.

    I'm a tomboy with a tendency to be a sweetheart and do nice things for people. I'm not trying to be anyone but myself. So whether I'm too femme or butch doesn't matter to anyone. I'll wear what I damn well please, be who I damn well am, - and if they can't see thru my exterior, well, I might just invite them for a chat over coffee and convince them otherwise.

    Listen... don't focus so much on the exterior, do some SOUL building. The one thing that offsets me about butches is when they're masculine in the sense of pure aggression. There are a select few who are like that and it's a problem w/ their personality, not their appearance. I know it's tough to find the girls who'll like you back but they're there. You might be wondering if you're too tall, too butch, too unfeminine to be liked... meanwhile I'm having the opposite issue. I'm so tiny and boyish and cute I wonder if anyone'll take my puppy face seriously, never mind a femme who wants a nice, strong butch gal to carry her. :] I dunno, we have our own hands dealt to us and it's up to you to make the best of it. I'm sure you're a lovely lady.
     
  7. Libra Neko

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    I used to really wish I was straight. No one else in my family is gay; I saw them and wanted the same security and acceptance that they all had.