I posted a thread on here that had over 170 views, so a fair amount of people read my first post. Please read it so you can understand this post, it'll make sense. So when I was writing that post, I was acting a little bit. I did feel gay, but I tried as much as I could to write like a girl, so I wasn't really flowing or being real. If I wrote like I would naturally write, I know my feelings last week wouldn't make sense, so I had to maintain the "gay vibe" so to speak. I don't know how to explain it, I was trying to keep my gay vibe. Anyway, I have a neighbor who is black, and Saturday I came out of my basement after being in my basement for an entire week. I was so sure I was gay, so sad but I accepted my new self. I was even consciously walking like I was gay, talking like it too. I really did accpet myself, and the song Losing My Religion was my song, a song that I related to and I was sad because I tried for so long to be attractive to girls. But I didn't feel anything for my neighbor. This caught me off guard, I used to be attracted to black guys, not all the time but some times. I felt a little mad and confused, I'm supposed to feel attraction right? I accepted myself as gay, I even went to gya chat forms. This also happened when I went to a gas station,there were a lit of black guys and I felt nothing. I was confused beyond belief. I still am. I saw a girl at the same gas station, and for the first time I was aroused by a girl. I had to watch porn to be aroused by a girl. It felt exactly like it felt when I used to feel attraction for guys. I even tried to fight it, I told myself this isn't real, I'm gay. But I looked at her and I was getting harder, lol. Again has anyone had this kind of experience? I don't feel gay, and I stopped walking and talking as if I waa gay. I like girls again. I don't know if all this is just massive confusion...
