Could I be gay?

Well, enjoying kissing isn't strictly a sign of attraction. The nerve endings will be triggered in the same way regardless of gender. However, if you are sexually attracted to the person, then you are probably gay / bi (etc.). Maybe experimenting isn't the worst idea, but it basically comes down to - are you attracted to her? Are you attracted to other girls?

 

Sounds like you experienced what I did in high school. My best friend and I were friends with benefits for a couple of years before college. I never was with a woman again, but I realized recently that I still hold a heady attraction to her (if not other women). Try not to stress too much. Do what feels good and right, be safe, and have fun. You'll figure it out with time (hopefully less than it took me).

:welcome:

 

Don't worry! Before I came out, I felt some desire to identify as gay, but denied it for...complicated reasons. To be honest, you sound like you might be straight or possibly bi/pansexual - however, it is highly possible that you just haven't had a crush of any kind for a while (I've never had a proper crush! XD). I would suggest simply keeping an open mind and consider your feelings in the long-term - can you comfortably see yourself in both sexual and romantic situations with guys, girls or either. I hope this helps! (!)
- Leo

 

Hey! It's great that you're asking questions and trying to figure it all out, kudos to you!

But the first thing I want to say is experimenting with the opposite AND same sex is quite natural, at your age you should be curious about this sort of thing. Kissing is a tool for human beings to gauge who is and isn't a good mate, and it's natural to want to practice as well.

Secondly, the way you dress doesn't at all define your orientation. Don't worry about it if you've gone through tomboy phases or girly phases. Not every lesbian is either butch or femme, so try not to take that into account here.

So I might throw out a couple of unfamiliar terms, but bear with me. They might make sense. Attraction is a big part of determining orientation. You can consider orientation as having two stages: attraction and sexual response.

The first questions you want to answer are: Am I attracted to her? and Who am I attracted to? This doesn't necessarily mean in a sexual manner. This is more of a romantic manner.

Secondly, for this situation, you should ask yourself Am I sexually attracted to her? And it's fine if you're not. There are a lot of gray areas in sexuality, and not everything is one or the other. For example, being biromantic means you see yourself romantically involved with either gender, but doesn't have a sexual tie in. Bisexual means you see yourself in a sexual situation with either gender.

If you're really uncertain, take a look into the different parts of the spectrum. But taking into account your early age and lack of experience/attraction to either gender, I think it's safe to say that you don't have a whole lot of evidence to support being gay and that clarity will come with a little more time. It took me a long time to figure out my sexuality, and I was experimenting around your age too. Don't be in a rush.

 

If you have kissed a guy before then maybe you could compare how it felt, or ask yourself which gender(s) see yourself in a relationship with. Over time you might see a pattern emerging, there is no rush. I know what you mean about wanting to be gay though, I used to think that, and kind of still do, but that might be because I didn't want to be bi. (*hug*)

 

I've also wanted to be gay, but I realize now that the very reason for me wanting to be gay is because I'm not. I'm leaning more to the gay side at the moment but it doesn't disregard my attractions for the opposite sex.

I'm tying to embrace my attractions to both sexes, I'll see where that goes.