Hello everyone. Please don't take the title in the wrong sense. I know you can't say something is more difficult than something else because it all depends, but here goes. I think about my sexuality everyday and I am still not sure. I think I am bisexual because I have fallen in love with women and I have been attracted to them as well as boys. One day I wake up and I think I am straight because I think about being with men but then the next day I see a beautiful girl walking down the street and my heart aches in a way that it has never done seeing a boy. I don't know if I make sense. Anyway, I am never sure and therefore I don't want to come out to everyone. I pass as straight and only talk with my friends about boys, even though I have been heartbrokenly in love with women (nothing happened). I can't help thinking it would be easier if I was just plain lesbian or straight. Then I could just say it as it is without the doubt and explaining. What do other bisexuals think and how do you handle your identity and doubt? Love!
As you've said, everyone in the community has their own issues with unique types of sufferings and even privileges over others as well. I don't think being a lesbian would make things easier (take it from someone that is one), it would just be different. Don't be ashamed of who you are.
I had bisexual feelings but i dont believe in bisexuality, its quiet hard to live like this; you´re right bisexuality is difficult; are your feelings and attractions for men and women the same or is there any distinction?
Hi colorblind, Bi girl here, and I love being bi and hopefully, you will too, eventually. Good thing you explained your choice of the title, I was getting ready to start a rant on Oppression Olympics. (Short answer: nope, bisexuality in general is not the hardest, but who cares? It's your individual experience that matters.) If you have been in love and attracted to men and women, that's the textbook definition of bisexuality right there. It's not being attracted to everyone all the time. You sound like you're bisexual and you sound like you know it, too, so I think there might be some other reason you're not quite willing to face it. Is it because you've never had a physical experience with a woman? Is it because you're afraid of people's reactions?
I think it is easier to discover if you are gay because you simply don't feel attracted to the opposite gender, and that's a good clue of what you may be. However, there are lots of people who "trick themselves" in being "attracted" to the opposite gender, so i don't really think it is "easier". Like you and Falling said: My friend, it isn't a question of belief. It exists. I feel attracted to both men and women (and non-cis genders too, you may call me pansexual if you want). The name of that is bisexuality. Also remember that you don't need to be 50/50 to be considered bisexual. I like men a bit more than women, but i still like women, so i think the label that better fits me is bisexual. I know you meant no offense, but it really annoys me when someone says that bisexuality doesn't exist, or something like that. It is like someone is saying that my feelings for both genders aren't real.
I agree... It may be more difficult to explain to some people, but it is real. The way you express your bisexuality will be different than how others do. Some people pair up an have one partner for life. Others are in serial monogamy (one partner at a time but several over a lifetime). Still others are in open, polyamorous, or other less well-known arrangements. You have to find what works for you... And it can change over time :looks at self in mirror:...
Newly-realized bisexual woman here... I think its easier but not necessarily for good reason. If you are bisexual, you can more easily fit the norms of society and be reasonably happy. You also have a larger pool of potential mates. But also because of those reasons, I think it can be more difficult to realize you are bi and it can be more confusing since there's a whole huge range of "bisexual". I'm still discovering who I am but my best guess is I'm slightly heteromantic homosexual, which I didn't even know was possible until a few days ago.
I agree that nobody has it "hardest" and that we all suffer under our own unique burdens (whether sexuality-related or otherwise). That said, bisexuality can be extremely difficult for some. I don't find it a picnic, myself. I am monogamously-minded, whether by nature or by social messaging...and yet I have strong non-monogamous desires, because my partner can't offer me what she hasn't got. I find it likely that if I was monosexual, I wouldn't have this challenge...or it would be much less of an issue. But I also value enough about bisexuality that I would not change if offered the chance...not to lesbian, and *certainly* not to straight.
Right now I also struggle with being bi. I think I am, but also wonder if it would be easier to just be gay or just be straight. Truth is? Those are unfair thoughts, like you said. No one has it easier. The grass is always greener. I think that's why that's an easily solution to our confusement. Anywho, I'm bi and recently discovered that I like men more than women. And I'm married to a woman. I'm still struggling, but I'm also okay, and I hope you are too. I don't think we have to chose, and I love what someone already said. It's okay to like one more than the other, and that doesn't mean you like everyone. I also recently realized that I have a type, and that's okay too. Hope this helps
Pros and cons to it. I think there tend to be harsher stereotypes on bi people. Seems like there's the idea that we'll screw anything with a pulse, certainly anyone of either sex. I'm not sure this is true, but it seems that way sometimes. On the other hand, I have the option of living as a straight guy, if I want. I'm pretty gay, but not so gay I couldn't have a girlfriend or wife. So there's that. Trying to decide, though, that's tricky. I think life has its fun moments and less fun moments for everyone. It just so happens some of my less fun moments are cos I'm bi. I've never felt like life would suddenly be easy if I woke up completely gay, straight, or anything else. All things considered, I haven't had it so bad. One of my friends had it pretty hard, but I think it would have been even worse if he was completely gay instead of gay leaning bi.
