So I am finishing my first year of college and I've been questioning my sexuality for a little while now. A large part of me thinks that I might be bisexual, but I have no idea. I haven't had any experiences with either gender, which is making everything really confusing for me. Everything that people say is always just to like kiss a girl or kiss a boy and see which you like better or if you like both or whatever. But I've never even kissed anyone and I don't know how to figure myself out. Sometimes I can't tell if I was checking a girl out because she's a girl or if I just liked her outfit or something. Half the time I can almost accept that I might like girls and the other half of the time I worry that I'm just making things up and I don't know how to tell which is right. I've been feeling like it would help just to talk to someone about this, but my best friend that I want to talk to doesn't really think bisexuality is a real thing and I feel like I can't go to her about this when I am still trying to figure myself out. I know that the idea of labeling is being less stressed now, but I feel like I need to label myself and figure out my identity because right now I just feel lost. How can I know?
I think time and experience will tell you a lot. What erotica/porn interests you? Who catches your eye on campus? Who do you imagine being with? Who do you dream about?
Hi alyson! Nope. Nope nope nope. I've kissed guys and hated it. I didn't swear off guys just after a couple failed kisses. Maybe he was a bad kisser. Maybe there was just no chemistry. Maybe a bit of both, actually. Since then, I've also kissed guys and enjoyed it. It's probably not great advice to just choose a random guy/girl and kiss them. It's definitely possible to know your orientation without having any experience. I knew I was bi before I ever kissed a girl. Try to think about your attractions: Are you attracted to guys/girls? Have you ever had a crush on a guy/girl? Would you want to kiss a guy/girl? Would you want a relationship with a guy/girl? How about the idea of sex, how does that make you feel?
It is normal for us to check out on boys & girls just because we think they're attractive. But what really matters is who you want to be with. You may be straight but still find girls attractive. It's the same as being a bi. Some think that bisexuals are attractive to all of the same genders, but what it really takes is finding someone who you want to be with. Don't think too much about labels, go for whatever you are comfortable with.
