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Sexually but not emotionally attracted to ppl

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Ank11451, May 5, 2015.

  1. Ank11451

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    Hello, I am seeking help through this forum in regards to sexuality.
    I know bisexuality exists, but I wonder more and more how can someone a woman be attracted to another woman only sexually and not emotionally/ intimately? Same for men. I don't understand it. I am a lesbian and was w/ an older woman who just wanted to have sex w/ me and nothing more.

    Then I met a bisexual girl my age and I still had the preconceived notion that all she wanted was sex & nothing more. I guess I thought she was experiementing, so I had sexw/ her then left at like 8am in the morning as soon as I woke up ( this didnt go over well, she didnt wanna hang out after that or even be my friend) I now realize I shouldnt have assumed that bc she was so cool.

    So, back to my point. Do you think its possible to be physically but not emotionally attracted to a boy or girl???

    Thanks

    Answers are appreciated :icon_wink
     
  2. Jax12

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    I think anything is possible, really. If it fits and works out for you then screw what everyone else thinks. Their opinions matter far less than yours, and it's much harder to change their thinking than to change your own.
     
  3. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

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    Is it physically possible? Yes.

    Many people can see someone and feel immediate sexuul arousal toward them that doesn't have any emotional component. That's essentially an instinctive response that is driven by basic emotions rooted in the desire for procreation (even though... that doesn't work for gay people... the emotion is still there.)

    But if you're talking about someone that you're actually yearning for a connection to that goes beyond the immediate physical, primal hit you get... it isn't "normal" to feel that but not feel emotional connection. However, even though it isn't "normal", it is pretty common, and it's commonly seen with people who have difficulty with access to their emotions, with self esteem issues (often the two are intermingled), or with sexual trauma histories.

    Essentially, they're all products of learning to limit access to emotions. There's no evidence (in spite of what some may imply) that there's any inherent hardwired, unchangable aspect of self that would cause this. Which... for my money, is good news, because it means the situation isn't a permanent thing we're stuck with. It requires getting in touch with our emotional selves and "thawing" the numbing or lack of vulnerability we're experiencing. But it's quite possible to work through it.

    I hope that answers what you were asking... please feel free to clarify.
     
  4. eee

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    Yes, it is possible to be sexually attracted but not emotionally to a person. If you are really comfortable with the kind of relationship that you have right now then go for it. But if you feel like it is becoming toxic, then stop. Maybe you're just not yet ready for an emotional relationship with someone. There's nothing wrong with it as long as you both are happy
     
  5. Straight ally

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    There are person you want to be friends with, but with whom you dont want to have a relationship, because there are aspects you like about that person with are required for having a friendship, but that person miss the 'relationships 's requirements' .

    The same can happen with sex...
     
  6. mukumuku

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    Yes, I personally know a girl who is aromantic (and lesbian). She claims to have never had romantic feelings for anyone, though she's very sexual.