I think i am Bi but most gay/bi men seem to be really effeminate that ive met and i would have nothing in common with these people since i am really quite the opposite. Also, i suppose i am quite homophobic (which doesnt help lol) i would never say anything anti-gay to a gay persons face but i am not that pc when it comes to gender and orientation and do use anti-gay slang. I dont like the idea of being separated into communities e.g the gay community because i simply feel like i dont belong there or agree it. I also dont feel the need to bang on about my orientation if i did come out and i see a lot of gay people doing this, like the only thing they can say about themselves is the fact they are gay. Also, most gay/bi men that i have come across have been really promiscuous and would literally shag anything and use apps such as ****** which repulse me. Sorry if i seem like im ranting i just feel like i dont belong anywhere.
Honestly when it comes to people whether they're gay/straight/bi/trans/asexual/etc you can't really generalize. Some gay/bi men might be effeminate, some may be promiscuous but it doesn't mean all are, nor does it mean you have to be. Some straight men are effeminate and promiscuous, but again that doesn't mean all of them are. You should focus less on how you perceive other people and focus more on who you are as a person. I have found coming out to be a self reflective journey - it was less about me looking at other people and more about looking into myself and my true feelings. Being part of the LGBT community does not change who you are as a person. You don't start exhibiting different traits, or interests, it simply is you being uniquely you, as you were always intended to be - it isn't a choice, it's just you being you. What is a choice however, is to be homophobic. But I think the fact that you realize that you are homophobic is a start to recognizing your perception of the LGBT community needs to change. One final thing to note is that having a "gay community" isn't about being separated into communities, as you put it. It is instead finding a place to be accepted free from homophobia and judgement. It can be a physical community (as some neighbourhoods are more geared towards gay-friendly residents) or more of an imagined community much like this website. It's just a place to be free to be who you are, and I sincerely hope you find a place where you can feel that freedom - maybe it will even end up being here
