hello all I am a college student in a human sexuality class. I am supposed to write a page about the idea of people choosing homosexuality because they were seduced by another homosexual. however the book I am reading is oddly heavy handed about this topic calling it a complete myth. it seems biased so i thought I would ask actual people. does this happen? do gay men and women try to seduce "straight" men and women? if so, is it a defining moment for a sexuality choice for the "straight" person please, any commentary would be much appreciated.
Hi and welcome! You will probably get more inputs if you put this thread in the chit-chat section. Most people just skim through the welcome lounge and might not notice.
Okay, first, feelings are feelings and not chosen. I don't choose to not have a problem with whatever sex or gender the person I'm attracted to happen to have (being pansexual, that is.) In general, sexuality is not a choice at all. Of course it happens that sparks might fly between an openly gay/bi/pan person and someone who identifies as straight but finds he/she/them are really bicurious to some extent. But non-straight people aren't foxes who tricks straight people into sex with them. Not that I'm saying you're suggesting that, but your book seems somewhat... I dunno. It might be that that would open up the "straight" person's eyes to that they are really bicurious or something else other than straight.
Because our culture is so heterocentric, sometimes people might discover that they have an attraction to a same sex person that they never knew they were capable of. It might be a one time exception, or it might set off a journey of questioning that takes a while to sort out. I'd say the idea of converting people is preposterous. There are far more straight people out there... Wouldn't they have just converted the gays back? (Which for the record has been tried and doesn't work either). I believe sexuality is fluid for many people. For a lot of people (most) they find themselves attracted to opposite sex people and stop looking for answers. It doesn't mean they don't have some underlying same sex attraction they aren't aware of, lying dormant until they experience it.
Welcome! It's a myth. You don't turn straight to gay in a jiff. I believe it is more of "unlocking" the deepest desires of someone to be with the same sex. Seducing a true heterosexual will NOT turn them gay no matter whatever technique you may do, and it is the same vice versa. So those "I returned to being straight" stories are false.
Hmm. 'Seduced by a homosexual', and so turned gay. I don't think that happens. Being gay isn't something you can catch. But some people do suppress their deepest sexual desires. Especially when being gay was less socially acceptable than it is now. Men would marry and have children, because society, family and church pressured them to do so. Some would be gay and have gay sex. Likewise, some men would try and convince themselves that they were straight because they wanted to be 'normal', and then maybe something would happen. It was easier for a spouse whose husband or wife left him/her for a same sex partner to 'blame' the gay person for turning the spouse gay, rather than thinking they had failed as a partner. Fact is, neither was true - the person had been gay all along. This is a bot of a ramble. Hope it makes sense and helps a bit.
Interesting question and as a Bi individual its one I have wondered about often. everyone likes to feel they are among the norm when it comes to the human experience. I have recently come to terms that I am a Pansexual, meaning I can fall in love ( real love ) with either a male or female, I dont fall in love with their body (although that helps) but more who they are as a person, are they careing? compassionate? fun to be around etc... Sex then becomes an extension of love, a way to join together and express in an intimate way those feelings you have. Based on my own personal experience and feelings, I have always thought it to be a choice, I dont think it is now. I am married to a woman, but I could just as easily have been married to a man. through my life I have loved men, I have loved women, I have been with both. at times I think it would be much easier to have been either 100% gay, or 100% straight. Being Bisexual is a somewhat confusing way to be until you understand that you actually love who they are regardless of their gender. as far as turning someone gay? I dont think so. Its not like a virus you can catch. I believe that those suspected of being turned to the dark side, have been Pansexual in nature all of their life but had just never met the right person to bring it out. I suppose its possible for everyone to be that way without realizing it. Society dictates that if I have a penis, I can only fall in love with someone that has a vagina, and the other way around. I find this sad because I think that in reality, there are many people out there that will never find their true love because they are appeasing society instead of their own heart.
Far from being biased, I would suggest the book you are reading is pretty accurate really. It's true that LGB people - especially young LGB people, sometimes develop a crush on straight friends or associates, but there is a big difference between developing a crush and attempting to seduce a straight person with a view to changing their sexual orientation. Unless someone is already predisposed towards same sex attraction/action (which includes bisexuality), it's not going to happen. There is no credible research or evidence to suggest that sexual orientation is chosen or can be changed.
I agree with most of the other replies, but something to say from my experience! I have recently discovered my gay-ness. I believe that I always was, but being in a very hetero-centric culture, I never considered being gay as an option and I was a straight female for 19 years of my life. I dated boys, had sex with boys, etc. It really wasn't until a gay female that hit on me until I started truly questioning my sexuality. By the time I realized myself, she had graduated from college, and I never had a chance to pursue her. ANYWAYS, being a lesbian now, I don't plan on knowing a girl is straight from stopping me from trying to hit on her. If she says she isn't interested, I will stop immediately. But the fact remains that a "straight" girl could just be unsure of herself, as I used to be. But that does not mean that I will be able to convert a girl who is actually 100% straight... I'm just saying I'll take that chance I assume every girl is straight, anyways.
Do gay men and women try to seduce straight people? Yes. It's annoying, disrespectful, and, most importantly, it doesn't work at all. Sometimes, for example, a gay man might get a straight guy completely drunk and take advantage of him... but that's rape, and causes severe emotional trauma for the straight guy taken advantage of. It is no way influences the sexual orientation of the straight guy. It's a crime of manipulation and coercion.
I think this is a myth. It kind of reminds me of corrective rape crimes against lesbians to turn them straight. In reality, it does the opposite. So being seduced by a gay person does not turn a straight person gay UNLESS the straight person was curious and wanted to find out their attractions for themselves. I have no interest in straight women myself and am rather turned-off by them. And if a straight guy somehow got me in bed, I wouldn't change. Sexuality may be fluid for some, but this is not the cause of it.
If you asked my grandmother this question she would probably tell you yes. She thinks it happened to me. At first I thought it happened to me too, and if you asked my first girlfriend, she'd tell you that it is possible. She likes "new lesbians", or girls who have never been with a girl before. She is confident in her abilities to change a straight girl into a lesbian, or at least bi. However personally, I don't agree with her. She may have been the one to help me discover that I was bi, but I always new deep down I was attracted to girls as well as boys. There is a difference between seducing someone into something purely physical and "changing" someone's sexual orientation. I do not think someone has the power to change another person's sexual orientation, at least in this context.
All of the seducing in the world won't turn my straight guy friends gay. They're just not into dudes. Likewise, all of the straight seducing of gay people won't turn gay people straight. You're orientation is your orientation. I think The Onion had the perfect parody article about the idea that gay people chose their orientation. The idea that most gay people would chose this difficult life path "just because" is ridiculous. It's hard-wired into us to be attracted to people of the same sex. To answer another of your questions, it's perfectly normal for gay people to have crushes on their straight same-sex friends. Likewise, there are many instances of straight people falling for their opposite-sex gay friends. Last year I had a girl I went to University with tell me she was in love with me. "Why can't you be straight?" "Because I'm just not attracted to girls in that way." It seems like once-a-month I'm talking with a gay friend who develops a crush on a straight friend "I really hope they're secretly gay or at least bi." The idea of gay people seducing straights is bollocks. There are cases where "straight" people may fall for a gay person, but that's because those feelings were already there. I'm not talking about cases of rape - that's a whole other topic, and one I'd rather not get into - I'm talking about a consensual act.
You're asking if a gay person can seduce a straight person into becoming gay. My answer is "no". However, I am strongly biased on this issue - probably more biased than the book you're reading.
