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Not sure how to proceed or if I should?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Foolish Mortal, May 13, 2015.

  1. Foolish Mortal

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    I am 38 years old, recently separated after a nearly 12yr marriage. For the last few years I've noticed that I'm increasingly attracted to women. I've never been attracted to a specific woman, but the ones that I know are very straight and I've known for a long time. It's more that I'm very aroused by pics of women, basically I'd rather look at a naked woman than a naked man and the thought of sex with a woman is very exciting to me (thought I've never done it).

    I was hit on (pretty aggressively) by a really cute woman at a work Christmas party 2 years ago. It was very exciting to me. I didn't act on it because I was married and we were in a pretty bad place and trying to fix things. Since then my interest has intensified.

    Where do I go from here? How many people start to question their orientation at my age? I don't even know how I want to proceed, how does a girl meet a girl? And if I do how do I let them know that I'm not sure and am trying to figure this all out.
     
  2. kcdeclassified

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    I can't seem to answer your second question, since I am only 20. Maybe ask that question in the forum about LGBT in older life!! I'm sure there are some wiser, older people there to help you with that.

    I am currently trying to figure out the how is a girl supposed to meet a girl question myself. For starters, you can do what the girl did to you at your work Christmas party. You can find an attractive girl, hit on her like crazy, and hope for the best. If you still work at the same place, maybe you can find that same girl and give it another shot ?

    Also, this might not be ideal for you at this time because you are questioning.. but I would imagine that coming out would allow other girls to find out about you, and maybe they would think you are pretty cool too.

    And for the last question... my personal advice would not to mention that at first. If you met a lesbian and you two decide to date, just go on about it naturally and see where it goes. If after a few dates and make out sessions, you discover that dating a girl is not something you are able to do, then end the relationship. Just as you would do if you actually were a lesbian, but the girl you were with just wasn't the one for you. You would tell the other girl that you didn't think you and her would be compatible, and this would be the truth. You would then try to find the right guy for you, and you would feel immensely better that you gave yourself the change to explore, instead of doubting yourself the rest of your life.
     
  3. Foolish Mortal

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    Thanks for the great advice! Except one thing, "older life"?!? Come on now, when you're 38 you best remember you used that term to describe yourself :icon_wink
     
  4. bi2me

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    The later in life forum is for those of us coming out after college. :slight_smile:

    We are a super friendly bunch, and there are a lot of us!
     
  5. kcdeclassified

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    Hahaha!! I am sorry! Was just referring to the forum (which is actually called later in life, a mistake on my part) and not reflecting my personal opinion! :lol:
     
  6. Foolish Mortal

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    It's OK, I was just teasing you! I saw later in life and I envisioned 60-70 year olds! :badgrin:
    I'll check it out!