Common Question... How Do You Know If You're Gay?

My next question... How do you know if you're gay?

It's pretty easy to know you're straight, since growing up it was the only option shoved down people's throats. People thought I was a lesbian all through my child and adolescent years. Girls freaked me out and I didn't like them and I wanted to be around boys all of the time, although I later realized as an adult I was heavily suppressing my bisexual side... that was back when I was a homophobe, until my guy friends all came out as gay. Then I was like gay guys are fine but ew lesbians (again, sign of suppression). My boyfriend at times has thought I was gay and asked me repeatedly. My first and only girlfriend swore up and down that it was like I slid into everything so naturally, as if I had dated tons of women in the past. I dated her after I came out. I really don't know. Hell, some years ago I spent 2-3 straight years straight up really in love with a woman and had NO idea I was until years later. I always wish I could find a woman like her again.

I'd rather be bisexual. It's easier. You can hide the gay side of you from judgey people, which is sad but it's true. I totally get why gays and lesbians can't stand bisexuals for that point. But there's still that side of me that wants to find a woman like my first female love again. Like maybe I'm missing out on something until I find her. There was a time I was really really really in love with this one guy, but perhaps I was in love with the music we made together, I don't know.

I love my boyfriend more than I've ever loved anyone, but there are so many times I wish I could have him in a woman's body instead. Maybe I'd feel like I'm missing out on something either way; perhaps the curse of the bisexual. I know for sure I'm far from straight.

So... how do you know? How do you know if you're gay?