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Another "am I gay?" question

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by anonymoose1994, May 17, 2015.

  1. anonymoose1994

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    I'm sure this question gets posted a million times a day but I'm asking anyway. I have no clue If I'm gay or not! I suppose I should start from the beginning. I'm 20 years old and from around the age of 10 I discovered Pornography. I watched straight Porn up until around the age of 14-15 then I started watching gay porn but it was only with one guy involved in the video if you know what I mean. I also used to to purposely speak to guys i found cute in chat rooms etc on the internet. From around the age of 18 and still now I use a dating app on my phone and I just use it to see guys and talk to them. I don't have my photo on there but I do send my photo to guys I especially like. In the past few months I believe I've kind of made some big steps in figuring out my sexuality but some things hold me back.

    Throughout secondary school I had no crushes on anyone whatsoever and I had no urge for a girlfriend at all. It was only until I went to college where I actually looked at someone and had that feeling in my stomach where you know you like that person and surprise it was a guy and then 6 months later or so I found myself looking at 2 other guys in my class the same way.

    Going back on the dating app thing I have been so close to meeting with guys but I just chicken out because I have this worry in my mind of "what if I'm not gay what if people see me with a gay guy what if I have sex with a guy and regret it straight after". I suppose another key clue to this is who I see myself wanting to date and I suppose It would be a guy. I obviously find girls appealing and you don't have to be straight in order to find/acknowledge a girl attractive.

    Like right now I'm speaking to a girl and I know she is pretty she has a nice figure she's awesome to talk to and i have almost a crush on her if that makes sense but i think to myself would I have sex with her? And I just don't think I couldn't. If I had to pick a girl to go out with it would most likely be her because to me she's amazing but there i no way I'd want to have sex with her.

    Also going back on the porn thing I find myself watching straight porn more than gay. I find women appealing and to me watching a woman have sex with a man just seems better to me I have no idea why. But when I watch it I'm kinda in the guys mind if that makes sense. And I also fantasize of being the woman.

    After reading this back it just sounds like I'm so gay but there's just something in my mind that's stopping me from saying yes I'm gay. I have no issue with being gay my family wouldn't care. I suppose one of the main things in my mind is this. Before I acknowledged I might be gay I would look at a woman and it doesn't matter who or what she looked like I'd say in my mind "i'd have sex with her". But now there's nothing. Like another thing would be the other day and my friend pointed out a girl and said oh she's hot don't you think? and in my mind im like "meh" but of course I had to say she was hot or he'd think I'm gay or something.

    I understand I've just went on a complete ramble so I'm sorry for that I'd just really like some info haha.:lol:
     
    #1 anonymoose1994, May 17, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: May 17, 2015
  2. biisme

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    I would say that you're not 100% straight at the very least. To narrow it down more than that is difficult.

    You were saying that there is no way you'd want to have sex with this girl that you're talking to. Is there any girl you'd want to have sex with? Is there any guy?

    Could you see yourself in a romantic relationship with a guy / with a girl? It's possible to have romantic preferences that are different than sexual ones. For example, I am bisexual, but I have a preference towards relationships with guys.
     
  3. Gabe27

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    No one can tell your sexuality but you, keep that in mind. People may try to help, but it doesn't necessarily means that you have to agree with what they (and I) say. :icon_wink

    It was kind of hard for me to figure out my sexuality, because for a long time I thought I was straight, and then I thought I was gay, and three months ago I decided to call myself bi.

    You can try to figure out this way: Imagine yourself in a relationship with your perfect woman (in appearance and personality). First of all, can you imagine yourself in that situation? Would you find her attractive and have sex with her?
    Now do the same thing to your perfect man. Can you imagine your perfect man? Would you find him attractive and have sex with him?

    And there's more. You may answer YES to every question above and still feel that you like a gender over the other, and that's fine too! My point is: If you can only imagine yourself dating a guy and feeling sexually attracted to him then you MIGHT be gay (or homoromantic), but who am I to tell? :lol:

    Don't worry to much about this! It's simpler than people think.
    If you can get aroused only by men you are gay. If you can get aroused only by women you are straight. If you like both (even in different degrees) you are bi. Simple as that.

    I hope I helped you at least a bit. :icon_bigg
     
  4. Bi in MD

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    What Biisme said,
    Im also bi, but I have a stronger preference for women.
    my perfect woman in a perfect world would be Bi, and at times she could engage in her thing, me in mine.
    however, mine is not a perfect world.