Hi guys, I have been struggling with my orientation for a few months now.. it all started when I got a huge crush on a girl I was working with, and later found out she was gay. I was so shy and had all this weird feelings inside whenever I was around her. With time I kind of got over it and today she is one of my closest friends. At this time I began to thing about if I might be a lesbian. I went through all my crushes and former relationships and found out I have ended every single relationship I have had with a guy because I have never really had such strong feelings for them as they had for me. I was quite young when I started dating and fooling around (14yo) and I think I might have done it because every one else around me were doing it. I have been sexually active since the age of 14/15, but I have never enjoyed having sex and always found an excuse to avoid sexual contact with my boyfriends. When I think back to my high school years, I was always obsessing over some girls I hardly knew, but found interesting and beautiful. I don't think I wanted to have a relationship with them, but I was always curious about them and their lives. I think i might also have been a little jealous at their friends and boyfriends to get to be around them all the time. I wanted to get to know them and hang out with them.. but I was veeeery shy and kind of just admired them from a distance. The past few months have been a struggle. I have had so many feelings and thoughts about my life and future and it is driving me crazy. I have gone on a few dates with different women and have found it pleasant. It has never been uncomfortable and I have really enjoyed it. The fact is, that I can't figure out if i´m gay or if this is just something i´ll get over.. Since I began to have doubts about me being straight, guys have not been on my mind. I see a pretty girl and it kind of turns me on.. but I seem to not even notice the guys that are around me. But maybe thats just because I have been having all these thoughts about me being gay ?? I have talked to my sister, mom and my closest friends about this.. but I don´t quite know how to have the conversation when I am so unsure of my orientation. I think i´m getting closer to identifying as a lesbian then I was a few months from now.. but I feel like because I haven´t had sex with a woman or been in a relationship with one, I cant really know if I´m gay or not until I try all that stuff ? Did you know right away that you were gay ? Or did you need to "experiment" before you were completely sure about it ? Hope to get some insight from you wise folks.. And hope that I figure this thing out sooner than later :eusa_doh:
You do not need to experiment to know which gender you are attracted to. It's just something you feel. If you can only see yourself being romantically and sexually with a woman then you're a lesbian. If not then you might be bisexual.
I haven't come out yet because, although I feel pretty sure about being a lesbian, a part of me says that I can't be completely sure until I date a girl, but the thing is, we don't need to "prove" that we're gay to anyone. Straight people don't need to experiment to prove themselves and to everyone that they're straight, so I don't see why we would need to do that. If you feel it, then it's true. I know I'm not attracted to guys, and that's how I realized I'm a lesbian
I know, I'm sorry, another Am I Gay question huh? At the start of the year, I discovered that one of my classmates was a lesbian and I have pretty strong feelings for her and I don't know, am I a lesbian? But since I am (quite) attracted to guys, I'm pretty sure I'm either bi or straight. So am I straight or bisexual? Please helppppp. ((((
