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The struggle of figuring out who I really am

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Atinyhuman, May 20, 2015.

  1. Atinyhuman

    Atinyhuman Guest

    Hi - I just recently started questioning my own sexuality when I came across a new (new for me) sexuality - asexuals. I have always been resistant towards physical contact and relationships, except when I was a kid (at that time I thought I was gay or bisexual, but I had several boyfriends - without any physical contact, not even kissing).
    As a teenager, I had a boyfriend for four months. We broke up when I stood up for myself and finally told him how uncomfortable I felt about touching, kissing, just physical contact in general. After a couple of months, I met a new guy, however, I "ended" it before it got serious - because I started feeling very insecure and uncomfortable about him getting closer and more romantic and sexual.
    To sum it all up: I am 17 years old now, I am a virgin, and I believe I might be asexual; Heteroromantic or greyromantic asexual. It is hard, because I am still in the "questioning" prosess, and I have no idea if this is going to change or if I am in fact asexual. It is hard. I ask myself all these questions, and I'm not really sure I have the answers anymore. Am I scared of physical contact, or actually repellent towards it? Do I even want to be in a relationship? I have come to the conclusion that I don't want a romantic or sexual relationship, I want to learn about the other person, have long discussions and have a great time. I have always felt the most comfortable when I am alone. Yet, sometimes, I miss having someone there - either a boy or a girl - a friend.
    But am I going to label myself as asexual? We'll see.
     
  2. Jax12

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2014
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It's a struggle for sure. It takes a while to accept yourself as you are. Personally, I've always bounced back and forth being gay and feeling straight. I'm pretty sure I'm bi with preference for guys at the moment, but it took me almost a year to get to this point.

    Try to be as open-minded as possible, that would certainly help.