Hello! So, for a long time, I was pretty sure I was bisexual, with something of a preference for guys. I didn't think too much about it, having never had a boyfriend, girlfriend, or even so much as kissed anyone. Then, a couple weeks ago, I became convinced I was a lesbian. Like, I didn't want anything romantic/sexual to do with guys, and I didn't find them attractive. I even told a couple people. But now, it's practically the opposite! I know many bi people have a preference, but does anyone else have this sort of thing happen? Where you almost completely or entirely lose attraction to one gender?
Yeah, kind-of. I guess after I acknowledged the fact that I like boys, I lost all feelings towards girls. But now, I feel some attraction towards females again. It's not as strong as my attraction to males, but I think it's there, somewhere. So, I don't know how you could interpret that. My experiences shouldn't make you less lesbian. This is how it worked / is working for me, not you. Your experiences are totally valid, and this kind of thing is fairly well documented.
Many bisexuals are fluid just as you describe. Myself, I'm sure that if I paid close attention to how I feel at every minute of every day, I would see wide swings of what I want and what sounds good at different times. I'm also sure that sometimes that would stabilize for days at a time in one direction or the other. I certainly have had days when I've said, y'know, maybe I'm happy to live without guys. But I also have faith (because I'm 48 and know myself) that that feeling isn't permanent. The thing is to try to stop caring so much about what label to put on yourself, and just *watch* yourself for a while. I don't think it's a good use of social capital to tell your friends every time your interest in pizza shifts to a hot sausage sandwich...and it's an even worse use to announce each shift in your sexuality. Just get used to the fact that it shifts (or watch it long enough to be able to say "geez, 5 years and only interested in girls...maybe I'm a lesbian"). It's a life lesson to learn that just because you feel something really intensely now, that doesn't mean that you'll always feel that way.
