28 female still confused am i lesbian in Heterosexual relationship

Oh dude, my heart is with you. You shouldn't feel guilty, relationships are hard and none of us are perfect. The fact you feel bad shows you care, and that you're a good person.

My advice would be to take your time, and go with your gut. Sometimes these things have to play out. One thing I would consider is if being in the relationship, and all that goes with it, is bringing you mainly positive or negative feelings. If you're unhappy or unfulfilled then it may be a sign that it's time to go.

From my own experience, my advice would be don't stay in a relationship you're not happy in because you're scared of breaking up, or because he's a good guy who you don't want to hurt. It doesn't work. Likewise, if your gut is shouting at you then listen to it, it's usually right. Ultimately, if this relationship isn't right for you, then it isn't right for him either - whether or not he realises that at the time.

 

As scary as it is, it doesn't seem like your current relationship is working out. I don't even think it's related to sexuality. I'd figure out if/where you fit in the current relationship and then work out the rest. If you keep rehashing the same issues, it doesn't seem like he's the person for you. Once you get sorted out, you can figure out who your like to date next.

 

This was me three years ago. It was absolutely unbearable and I probably caused a lot more hurt than necessary as a result of going back and forth. Turned out it was the fear of the unknown causing that. But that's just me, I don't want to project, everyone is different.

You are not responsible for him. He has a right to feel upset, angry, whatever. He doesn't however have a right however to hold you responsible for his personal well being. A relationship comes with the risk of getting spectacularly hurt, sadly. That's life. We live, we get hurt, then we pick up and move on.

Be brave and go with your gut. It may not feel certain at the time but in the long run it shouldn't let you down. Big hugs x

 

Hey I know it's really scary but regardless of whether or not you are gay and it sounds to me that you might be, it also sounds like like your current relationship is not that healthy and being intimate with your partner should never make you feel bad or sorry. You also cannot stay in a relationship just because of what he says he will or won't be without you. I know that doesn't make it any easier.

To be honest I get the impression you know what you need and what to do but are looking for some reassurance and support, you have my sympathies but just hold that image of you and the woman in your head, you could have that.

 

Hi

Well it feels a bit weird to talk about experiences and giving advice because you and the other posters are quite a bit older than me.

But let's see what I can offer you:

My first relationship was with a guy. He was a nice and caring guy and we had a great relationship. But at some point I started realizing that this relationship may not be what I wish for my future. Our expectations of life didn't match anymore and we had rows about the same things regularly. On top I always considered myself as not completely straight and thoughts about women, daydreaming and fantasizing got more and more. But I pushed 'em away in the back of my head. I ignored all those feelings. I tried to hold on to this relationship and this love, although I kinda knew already that it won't work out...When I got deep inside myself and listened to my gut, I already knew my thruth and what I should do - And I have the impression that you know your own truth already if you're honest with yourself.

Well, I was not able to end the relationship because I was scared, I was unsure about my feelings and I really wanted this relationship to work out. I just couldn't admit that we were over. Finally he decided to break up. Of course I felt unhappy, alone and lost. But for the long run it was probably the best that could have happend.

After all, the break up felt liberating and gave me the opportunity to explore my true self. I had no clue where it would bring me and what was waiting for me out there. But just take it as a chance and make the best of it!


So my advice: I know a break up can be hard, but when you tried your best to make it work and it didn't really work out, it's probably for the better to end this relationship. Staying in a relationship that's not really satisfying for both of you can hurt your feelings a lot more in the end.

For now it's not that importance no. one to know if you will get together with a girl one day or not. It's more about just being happy. So when you're not happy with your current situation and how things are, you need a change - obviously. But in which shape you'll find this change, that's up to you. Only you can decide it. But it seems that ending the relationship may be this change. Take the courage and take this huge step forward if it feels right for you.

And who knows, maybe you meet a beautiful woman and with her you can make the picture that you've in your head become reality. Or maybe not.
But you have lots of time to find this out.

Oooooh and this was not meant to sound completely against your relationship. I'm definitely not the type of person that ends a relationship easily and shouts "next" if something is not okay. But I just wanted to point out that people often stay in relationships and hold on to something that is not there anymore, and that's not always healthy.

Oooooh and this got longer than expected...

But whatever may happen: I really which you the best and lots of happiness