for the past month i had some really bad thoughts that i might be gay,i became obssesed with the idea that i might be gay,i always loved women and wanted to sleep with them,i'm a virgin guy with social anxiety who spends a lot of time at home,after the thoughts came to my head i started checking myself all the time,i see guys and i'll ask myself would i have sex with him?when i really don't want to i force myself to look at guys and i really hate it. I've started to look at gay porn to see if i get aroused and i never get aroused,then i'll switch to straight or lesbian porn and i will get aroused,i would never like to do anything with another guy,i just don't want to. What the hell is wrong with me?am i gay for having this thoughts?i really don't want to be gay and don't want to have gay sex,its just not for me,what the hell is wrong with me?i always dreamed of having sex with women always fantasized about women,never men. I'm not and homophobic and i really have nothing against homosexuality,i just want to get this thoughts out of my head
Hi there! How have these thoughts started? Did something occur that would provoke these thoughts from occurring? Thoughts don't determine a sexual orientation, and a few thoughts here and there aren't a good indicator either. You have mentioned several things that are an indicator of you being straight. That said, sometimes it is best not to obsess about one thought or another. The more you do that, the more you are feeding and allowing the thought to occur and eventually take over. I'd say, don't force yourself to do things you normally wouldn't do. Let your instincts guide you. One thing to keep in mind however, is that no one is 100% straight. Would it be so bad if it turns out that a part of you has a small attraction (whether it be physical or emotional) towards guys?
Thank you for your replay mirko,i dont know why im scared of the attraction,i was never in my life attracted to a male romantically or sexualy,and no much how hard i try,i cant get it out of my head,i have tried to tell my self so what if im gay?but that doesnt help either,i'll masturbate thinking about guys and i dont get hard,than i masturbate thinking on women and i get aroused,and still i have this thoughts.i started to think that it might be a mental health issue but im afraid to go to a therapist,what if he'll tell me that im gay?this is really scares me.i became so depressed over nothing
I have the feeling that you are putting too much energy into this, and over-thinking it. Plus you let a fear overtake your life to a degree where any further thoughts start leading you into a spiral. You have signs that pretty much tell you that you are attracted to females. In your case, that's something to concentrate on. Going to a therapist to talk about your fears would be a good idea, actually. What would happen if you discover that there is a part of you that is attracted to guys?
I guess i'll be scared and depressed,because i dont want to have sex with another guy,this is what scares me the most,i dont care about judgment,if i was really interested in having sex with another guy i would have done and i wouldnt care about nothing,but this is not the case
So, if you don't want sex with guys, you are not attracted to guys (but if you were, you wouldn't mind having sex with a guy) you are attracted to females, you get aroused when watching straight porn, you don't care about being judged, where is there problem then? What is there to be sacred of? Go out there, and enjoy life. Don't make life more complicated than it needs to be.
Im scared that i will be attracted to guys,if not now then in the future,and the thoughts are killing me,ive started avoiding guys because of the fear of being attracted to them
It seems that something subconsciously is bringing up the fears. On the one hand you seem to be okay with being attracted to females and wouldn't mind being intimate with guys if you were to swing that way, but on the other you have fears that make you scared and depressed. That is something for you to explore then, and talk with a counselor/therapist about. It's okay to be scared about the 'unknown' but a good counselor will be able to talk you through it and ensure that you come out of the sessions with a better understanding of your fear(s) and yourself. (*hug*)
Again thank you mirko for your reply I just came across hocd,and by reading about it,this is 100% what i go through,i'll talk to a therapist and ask for his opinion and how do i treat this
