Okay hi everyone. I'm new and I won't hide that my english isn't so perfect so sorry for some possible grammatical horrors (aka errors). So, I would like to ask a question about myself and my particular (at least this is what some people told me and I don't know what to think honestly) situation. Okay so, I am not confused about my orientation. I am straight for sure, I mean, I don't like women in a sexual neither romantic way (I'm female), and never did. I like men, but there comes the little doubt: I like men but not in a sexual way. I mean I could hang out with the man that I love the most and still wouldn't have sex with him. I wouldn't even have some fantasy about me and him doing particular things in a bed or something like that. And HERE comes another little problem: the problem is not with the man, or with the sex in general. I think sex is a very beautiful and fascinating thing without any doubt, but the problem is how I see myself. If I imagine me as a female, doing things like sex, I get very uncomfortable. Like REALLY uncomfortable, I can't even think about some kind of things without thinking "oh my God I could never do it" or "this is so unlike me" or "I'll never do it in this body" etc... If I think at myself as a boy or a male instead, I automatically think that I could do it without difficulties. Not like I would take some random person and have sex with him, but that I would not have any problem with some sexual fantasies or even with the thought to have sex with someone I like. Does it mean I don't fit with my gender? I mean, I always joke on the fact that if I had the possibility to change sex I will do it without hesitation even if my friends never take me seriously when I say it so i don't know if I can consider this option. Here is most of the problem. I have this other question too, but it's possible that it doesn't count like a real problem even if it makes me feel frustrated and doubtful about myself, I don't know. I have this little "bad habit": every guy I feel attractive to or that I like in a romantic way, ends up being gay. Every single guy. I never show any interest in a straight guy, or at least not in a very romantic way, just a little crush that gets over in some weeks. I don't know how to call it and I don't know why I have this interest. It's just a completely involuntary thing that happens very often, always when I don't expect that the guy in hand is gay. I don't have romantic relationships only because of this and I don't know why it happens. I'm underage, so it's possible I'm too immature to consider myself as heteroromantic?
This is my opinion and mine alone but I may think you are just overwhelmed by society and the idea of sex that the media has portrayed. Sex in media put unnecessary pressure on girls (like me) to be perfect in bed and do all these crazy tricks/flips. I do not think you are asexual (meaning you don't have sexual attraction at all). You may be questioning your gender that you were assigned to but you may also just have a hard time seeing yourself engaging in sex because our society hold it up to such a high standard and this frightens most people. My best advice would be to keep learning more about yourself and that labels don't matter as much as we think they do. It may be true that you are a heteroromantic but that doesn't mean you are 100% of your gender and thats ok. Keep observing your want to change genders but don't let it take over your life. Labels can help us define ourselves and empower us but we are way more complex than any one label. Stay true to yourself x
thank you so much for the answer. I suspected that I was just influenced by the media etc. and I think this is a valid possibility even if I'm not conscious of it. Labels are useful for me too, because they help me to understand myself and to describe what I am, because I'm very confused sometimes and I need a solid point to hang on to. I know that they could never describe myself entirely, but I'm ok with that. I'll keep trying to understand myself, thank you very much.
I might be wrong, but I think you should first figure out if you're transgender. It sounds like there is some possibility that this might be what's going on. It's not always so explicit wheter you are or not, but of course, I could be wrong. It might only mean that you have some sort of fetish, who knows? Well, you're the only person that should be able to know. EDIT: I'd say you're straight, but if you want more specific labels, you fit the heteroromantic/androphilic autoandrophilic labels pretty well.
