So right now I'm experiencing some very confusing feelings. I think I like guys, but I don't see any of my friends as attractive. I gave the excuse that maybe I can't see them as attractive because im so close to them, I couldn't see myself doing that kind of thing (almost like the same reason you don't date your own family). I never am in a mindset where I look at guys and think "oh he's cute". The only time I've thought that was with my sisters gay friend (who made me curious and question in the first place. I wouldn't say I find a lot of guys hot or sexy and I wonder if why that is because I'm always thinking about sexual and physical interactions with guys (regardless of how they look). So I'm not sure if im just more focused on doing things with guys than what they look like because of how I'm bicurious right now. Thoughts?
I very rarely just find random people attractive. It takes something more to get a feel for a person. Maybe you're the same. But there's nothing wrong with just being curious. Sometimes people are attracted to the taboo too. You'll hate to hear this, but the only way you can tell is time.
Just because you're gay doesn't mean that you're automatically going to want to boink every guy (or even every good looking guy) in the vicinity. I can see a really hot guy and enjoy the view - but that doesn't mean I'm going to fantasize about having sex with him. The more so if I know for a fact he's straight or have strong evidence of same. Presuming your friends are straight, and you know this, that could explain why you just don't have feelings for them. It's also possible that you are compartmentalizing your sexual feelings away from more general situations. I've been naked in locker rooms with really good looking guys while holding a conversation with them - and while something may note this deep in my mind, the bulk of my attention is simply not thinking or viewing them in a sexual way and so I don't feel anything about them. But if circumstances had changed such that I knew they were non-straight and we were going to mess around, I could then end up very aroused. The situation would have changed, so my mindset and responses would have changed with it. You might be similar. You may not find a lot of guys hot either because your taste in men is fairly specific, or you require some degree of emotional attraction to trigger your physical attraction. When you're fantasizing about guys is the fantasy purely physical based or does it include the idea that you have some degree of feeling for the guy you're imagining having sex with? Todd
I believe that you're right in I'm avoiding that mindset in more public scenarios. It only makes sense, because I'm have been keeping my feelings on the down low. And when I fantasize, about guys there is a mix between pure sexual interactions but there's also physical like cuddling and just touching each other. And it's in the second kind of fantasies that I feel like whoever I'm fantasizing about I have a strong emotional bond with them.
