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Getting tired of not understanding myself

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by ConfusedMochi, May 25, 2015.

  1. ConfusedMochi

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    Since I was about 12 I've been thinking about girls, how it would be to be in a relationship with one and eventually, have sex. Now I am 16 and I've gotten none the wiser about myself. I am even more confused than when I started questioning my sexuality years ago. Sometimes the thought of women excites me a lot, but I still can't quite grasp the concept of being in a relationship with one. I've kissed a lot of girls, or tried, starting from the mere age of 6. However none of them made me feel anything, but I wasn't repulsed either, and I think it's because I didn't really hold any feelings for them or felt attraction. I am not one to crush on celebrities or imagine myself in sexual situations with them and I've never held romantic feelings for a female. The latest guy I liked was about 5-6 years ago, so maybe I just have a hard time liking people.

    I find females sexually arousing, but sometimes it sort of feels "wrong" and my attraction immediately disappears. It fluctuates a lot and it's incredibly frustrating.

    I just need another person's insight on this matter because it's eating me away.
     
  2. bubbles123

    bubbles123 Guest

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    I know this probably isn't what you want to hear but you probably won't know until you like someone. I'm questioning too and I'm kind of in the same boat with not liking anyone and it's really frustrating. But at the same time, I think the more time you spend wondering and thinking about what your orientation is, the more confused it makes you. As frustrating as it is, the only time it will really matter what your orientation is, is if you like someone in the future. I know it can be very confusing and frustrating to not know what your orientation is or if you could like someone but I think the most important things you can do now are
    1) to be patient with yourself. You can't force yourself to feel a certain way. Sometimes we don't have control over things like this and it's really frustrating, but it's okay to say "this is out of my hands, I'll just have to wait and see".
    2) don't over-think things too much even though you really want to answer. I think this can make things more confusing and if you just try to let things happen the way they happen without thinking about your attractions towards people, it may become more clear.
    3) Be open to whatever your sexuality may be, which you already seem to be doing. That's the hardest part for a lot of people, but as long as you can accept whenever you like a person no matter their gender, it will make it a lot easier.

    I hope this helps and I wish you the best of luck!
     
    #2 bubbles123, May 25, 2015
    Last edited: May 25, 2015
  3. silverhalo

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    Hey try not to worry you will figure it out.

    It sounds to me that maybe your brain kills off the attraction you have to girls because on some level it thinks it is wrong so to try and stop it escalating it puts a stop to it. Do you have any lgbt friends? How accepting are your family?
     
  4. ConfusedMochi

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    Thank you for your reply (*hug*) that sounds reasonable and I think I am overanalyzing this a lot...

    I have three lgbt friends and both my mother and sister are very understanding and accepting. My father is another story though.
     
  5. ConfusedMochi

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    Thank you so much for your long and well put answer :kiss: I think you are very right about that, I think I am very impatient with myself really. Only time can tell and I am still young and have a lot to explore. I do feel like I am more towards the bisexual side, simply because I do know I find women attractive it's just rare for me to feel anything more towards anyone.

    Once again thank you a lot, it made me feel much better since I was having one of those "What-am-I-what-am-I-even-doing" type of nights (*hug*)