1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Bi or gay?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by kellynec, May 26, 2015.

  1. kellynec

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2014
    Messages:
    176
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I'm a guy.

    When I was 8 I started noticing women. Until the age of 14, I could only masturbate to, fantasize about women, guys turned me off. At the age of 8, I also started watching porn.

    For the last 4 years, I've primarily been attracted to guys BUT only when it comes to masturbation. The funny thing is that in real life, I don't even notice men?! Not that this is bad, though, because it gives me hope that I could be... bi, you know...

    So I've been asking people on this forum. They've asked me the question of who I tend to check out in real life: guys or girls? And 99.99% of the time, it's girls!

    For some reason in my fantasies women don't do anything to me any more when it comes to... successful masturbation, meaning I don't get to the end of it, if you know what I mean.

    From age 8 to 14, I'd been a porn addict. Lesbian porn only.

    Could it be that I've just seen way too many female porn stars, "anything they could offer" and that's why my brain has become desentized but my orientation hasn't changed?

    Anyone, help please! :S
     
  2. MiSuenaLorena

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2015
    Messages:
    23
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Cheyenne, WY
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    For me fantasies and masturbation are completely separate from my emotional attractions. I get turned on at the flip of a hat and most of my fantasies involve a man and a woman, neither of them me. I also enjoy threesome fantasies usually with 2 women and 1 man, again none of them being me.

    However in public at the store I manage for, I only notice women. When a woman walks in all drop dead sexy, I tend to keep an eye on them just to fuel my fantasies for later. I usually tend to watch women walk by and pretend I'm going the same direction just to watch them sway and saunter down the aisles.

    When it comes to the porn I like ... well incest is wincest, chicks with dicks (futanari) bestiality, forced. You name it I probably like it. The main reason for this is when you start watching porn, it's all new and exciting. After hours and hours (nonconsecutive) of watching or reading you tend to get desensitized as you said, and it takes something dirtier to get you off the next go around.

    I think what it cums down to is your imagination versus reality. In reality, I don't know if I am capable of having a deep emotional connection with another woman but I have had them with men. On the other hand, I am much more attracted physically to women than men, but since I have never experienced a deep need or love towards a female I tend to objectify them, which I'm not promoting by any means. It just kind of happens that way for me. I am never less than respectful to any woman I meet, but I tend to ogle them often.

    This may only make me bi curious and not fully bi, but I still use that as my label just because I may one day have the chance to have a true relationship with a woman, the right one just hasn't come around yet.
     
  3. Jax12

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2014
    Messages:
    1,875
    Likes Received:
    71
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I will mention that I watch straight and gay porn, but even in straight porn I pay attention to the guy. I imagine that I am the guy penetrating the girl and even ejaculating inside her. a wet vagina turns me on sometimes, but it's not complete unless there's a dick involved (and the guy is hot ofc).

    In gay porn, it's complete raw action, like two animals screwing each other and in pleasure. I'm not sure if I would enjoy what they're doing in real life, but I certainly know that I would want a man in real life. We may not be having sex like the ones in porn, but since when did porn represent reality anyways.
     
  4. kellynec

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2014
    Messages:
    176
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Thanks for the input, guys and girls.

    What I would like to ask is: We all know that sexuality is not something fixated, just like the brain isn't either. It can and does change over time, but as we also know, "ex-gay therapy" does not work; in fact, it causes mental distress to the person(s) undergoing it.

    So what are these circumstances under which one's orientation changes? Or is it that they just later found out that "they"ve always been that way"?
     
  5. anon991

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2015
    Messages:
    35
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Hi, I think I'm going through exactly the same thing that you're going through, so it's quite comforting for me knowing that I'm not the only one going through this phase. For me, I've tried to figure out which gender I'd be more comfortable and willing to have a partner from, and I've tried to think about all aspects of having a long-term relationship, emotions, sexual activity etc. Me personally, I find that I'd probably prefer having a male partner as I just feel I'd be able to enjoy and engage in sexual activities far more with men than with women. For your second post, I'd really say that the circumstances are unique for each person, it's just something that happens naturally and something which you can't control. For me, I don't really think that I've "always been that way", I'm almost certain I was straight until at most a couple of years ago. I think that my sexuality 'developed' over time.
     
  6. kellynec

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2014
    Messages:
    176
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Yeah, we're really going through something similar.

    I definitely want to change back to the way I used to be, I don't give a damn about what the others do in their personal life: if they want to marry someone of the same sex, let them do it and let them live!

    But I for one am fed up with the way I've been for the past 4 years and I want to change my sexuality back to straight. :S

    I am certain I used to be straight too, the only thing that turned me on was girls...

    ---------- Post added 27th May 2015 at 05:51 AM ----------

    Also PLEASE someone answer this question:

    If I look at a, to me, attractive girl/woman on the Internet, and I can imagine having sex with her, does that mean that I would indeed enjoy having sex with her in real life?
     
  7. Rhiannon666

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2015
    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Amsterdam
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    I'm in the same boat. Although I mainly watched lesbian porn, I only just figured out several months ago that I could be bisexual and not entirely straight, as I previously thought. It's like a switch went off. If I could choose to be completely straight again, I would, because I'm not comfortable right now. On the other hand, there's nothing you can do about it, so the best you can do is go with the flow, how hard it may be.

    @kellynec: probably, although I've heard fantasies don't always line up with reality.