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Doubt about relationships in general.

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by RedHeadHatter, May 26, 2015.

  1. RedHeadHatter

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    I've been having this doubt recently: Every time I get to know someone better, things just kind of get dull, for instance, if I've been spending too much time with my friends it will come to a point when I can't stand being around them anymore (I still like them, however, I have this urge to isolate myself), is this normal and is it going to happen to everyone I meet? (I am afraid that maybe I will never have interest in someone romantically because of this)

    PS:Sorry for my english, not my mother language but I'm trying my best here.
    PS(2): I don't know if this is the right forum to post so, sorry if I got it wrong)
     
  2. shan35

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    Hmm.. Interesting... I get this feeling sometimes and thought I was the only one.
     
  3. mrgizmo911

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    RedHeadHatter, What I would do if i where you is stop for a while and think things out. Maybe due to schooling, (Maybe testing), Stress, you have lost interest in society. tell your friends you need a break... then when you get bored by yourself re-join their "Social Circles". Also I know how you feel about the romance. I have gone through it before. Just don't think about dating for a while!.

    Hope it helped!

    - Matthew (!)
     
  4. Synthetik

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    Do you feel disappointed when this happens, like you wish that your interaction with these people could continue and remain interesting but you just can't force yourself to connect? Or does it feel more acceptable, like this is just the natural way your feelings happen, and you're comfortable with not forcing yourself to keep trying?

    I'm talking about the specific people you've had this experience with already, not your fears about what might happen in the future.
     
  5. sweetfemme90

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    I have the same issue when it comes to friendships, not so much in the romantic relationships though. The thing is with me, I enjoy spending a lot of time alone. I am what is called an introvert, meaning I am like a rechargeable battery. When I am not recharging, my battery is being used up. There is a good book I recommend called "The Introvert Advantage" by Marti Olsen Laney which is in English but nonetheless is great. It gives you a comprehensive guide to being an introvert or dealing with introverts. The book is in English though but I am sure you can find other great books on introversion in the language you are most comfortable with.

    The best practical advice I can offer you right this minute is to give yourself time to rejuvenate. Make sure you give yourself plenty of alone time in between hanging out with friends or partners. You will feel energized the next time you spend a little time with them and things won't get dull so fast with all that energy. Another thing I like to do is when I hang out with someone I like to do an activity at the beginning where things require my energy and later do something quieter. For example, when I had my apartment I would make sure I spent time alone before my friends came over. We would have dinner, play a board game with some coffee and tea, and then later watch a movie. The movie was quiet and allowed me to catch my breath.

    Get to know yourself! It will be helpful in knowing what you need to do in order to be successful in any relationship. Also your English is fantastic! You are in the right place.

    Good Luck!
     
  6. RedHeadHatter

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    First of all, I give my thanks to everyone who replied to this thread, I was really expecting just one short answer. It is good to know that I am not the only one that ever felt this way.

    Synthetik, it's really hard to explain unless I'm feeling it at the moment, but I'll try. Whenever I get this feeling I stop paying attention to the people around me or I think it's a mistake being with them, however, I do continue the conversation(Or whatever I am doing) (Just stopping and going away in the middle of a social interaction wouldn't be the nicest thing someone could do), nonetheless, If I stay sometime away from them the feeling goes away and I can, once more be around them.

    Sweetfemme90, I actually am pretty comfortable when it comes to the english language, however I don't quite trust my writing skills. I think I'll give the book a go and see what I learn, maybe follow your advice and try to intercalate quieter things with social interaction.

    Once again thanks to everyone who has posted so far, it was really bothering me yesterday and I couldn't get it out of my head.
     
  7. Debora

    Debora Guest

    I'm like that too.
    Even if I really like a person (who can be a friend or a girlfriend), after sometimes I need to stay on my own. If I don's I become nervous and can't stay with other people, and the other people notice that. That's a prerogative of very introvert people, it's not easy for us to stay with other people so long and it's not easy for them neither.
     
  8. Synthetik

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    The reason why I asked that question was to figure out if you are simply a very introverted person who finds social interaction to be draining, or if you are struggling with some form of social anxiety that's interfering with your ability to interact. Basically what I'm asking is, how much does it bother you when you want to stop being with a person? Does it upset you that the interaction doesn't satisfy you, do you feel anxious or bad? Or do you feel okay with the fact that you want to leave, and you're just worried about the future?

    Does that make more sense?
     
  9. RedHeadHatter

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    I am yet to find someone that, when I want to stop being with them, bothers me. I guess I really regret it after a while, but at the moment it happens it's a whole different story (I tried my best to answer your question,however, I don't really pay that much attention when it happens, and since I am stressed the whole time I would think that was the motive, but recently I've been getting plenty of rest and still got the feeling, that's what drove me to ask about it)