Okay, so I realized a while ago that I like everybody - guys, girls and nb's. But when I ask my mind for preferences all I see is mist stretching out over an ever-expanding landscape... *cough* What I mean to say is, it can't be just me who can't sort out my preferences, right? I mean I think, I aestethically prefer guys, am more sexually attracted to girls, would sensually prefer sex with a guy (assuming me having the right gear etc.) and would rather be in a relationship with a girl... I also often like feminine guys and I have a thing for tomboys * waves to tomboys of EC* and nb identities are often interesting and I don't mind at all.. But then again, these are just kind of guesses and these preferences are even quite small... How does one know their preferences? And do you have to or am I just fretting? Cheers
I'm pretty much in the same boat, m'dear. I've had sexual and non-sexual romantic relationships with males, females, men, women, MtFs and FtMs at various points in their transitions, genderqueer/genderfluid people who did not elect to physically transition, and probably others in between whose sex/gender status I didn't even notice. At this point, as far as I'm concerned, I just say 'fuck it.' I would date a person with tentacles if I liked zer personality. Mmm, tentacles. So basically, in my personal experience, it's way less important to make concrete determinations about your preferences than it is to simply let yourself be enchanted by any surprises who might come along. I usually get involved in more emotional/romantic relationships with feminine people, but sometimes a masculine-type person will inspire me to buy bouquets of roses by candlelight. I usually have more physical/sexual encounters with masculine people, but sometimes a feminine-type person will blow my mind in bed and then never call me again. *Lazy shrug*
I think Synthetik put it very well! I can understand wanting to understand yourself, but the most important thing is to let things happen naturally and be open to whatever comes your way. You may have a preference for guys, but what does that mean when the perfect girl comes along to steal your heart? Nothing. Beyond that, I can't help you figure out your preferences, BeckiWoopx, because I've never asked myself what mine are. So at least not everyone knows their preferences. (I'm not perfect enough to assume I don't have any. I'm sure they exist, but I don't care to know what they are.)
I think everyone has some kind of preference. I identify myself as a pansexual, but when I think about preference, I think I lean on girls more. Tomboys are my thing too, because I am really feminine, so the attraction to masculinity comes naturally. I still somehow see men more attractive, but if I have to choose, I'll go for women. I think you just have to keep thinking this thing even more. I didn't knew my preference right away. I find it later when I started to identify myself as a pansexual. But you might be almost 100% pansexual, so to you it's hard to find it, because you are just able to love everyone 100% equally! Hugs! I hope, that I could've help in some way
Lyana makes a good point about wanting to understand yourself more, and I'd like to add that I think leaving room for more exploration -- by not using concrete labels that can actually alter your own expectations -- will actually help you to learn even more, and improve your understanding. It sounds like you're focusing more on categories that simply describe what already exists than potentially restrictive labels, so you're already doing quite well!
Thanks Synthetik! and bigspeakers thanks, I think I am quite evenly pan ^^ I'll keep on soul-searching and (later) experiment thanks <3
Labels are for clothes Just be who you are and don't worry about the label. There's little to no evidence to support the idea of the 120000000000 unrecognized labels anyway, and they often simply lead to more confusion, or delaying of acceptance of who you truly are, so in general, just letting yourself experience things and taking time to see what really feels right usually works the best. One of my friends, when someone asks his orientation, says "I'm Blake." (His name.) And I think that kind of sums it up.
Thanks, Chip! I was out for a tequila sunrise with my friend yesterday and met an Englishman who was bery interested in our sexualities (no not like that. His funniness mostly made up for his ignorance too). When he asked I just told him I like everybody and that seemed to do the trick ^^
I can totally relate. I think sexuality is way more complicated than people sometimes like to think it is. I'm confused right now myself.. but I think it's important to be patient, open minded, and not too strict with labels when you're still trying to figure yourself out.
