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Any androgynous gay/bisexual men?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by josh91, May 30, 2015.

  1. josh91

    Regular Member

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    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    My sexuality is pretty weird. I identify as a cisgender man, but I dress and behave in a more androgynous manner. I used to think that I was straight because I thought that I only liked women. Albeit masculine women. I don't care how a woman dresses but her behavior needs to be "butch". I like women who can defend themselves against a masculine man, someone who might be handy around the house, who knows how a car works and isn't afraid to get her hands dirty trying to fix mechanical problems. And I want her to comfort me when I am feeling down, I want her to take the lead when it comes to romance, and I also would find it fun if she was a bit sexually aggressive toward me. Basically, I like women who act like the stereotypical "manly man".

    Well, this is the only kind of partner that I thought that I wanted until recently. One day, when I was waiting at the city bus stop in front of my college, a gentlemen I had a class with during the previous semester started talking to me. In class he is very sociable, but it seems that most of the people that he talks with are women. My first impression of him was that he is a lucky guy to get all that female attention. But I don't think that he has a girlfriend. I'd seen him on the bus a few times before he approached me that day and he was always so quiet then. He would just listen to music on his phone with purple headphones and a pink cell phone case. I had noticed it before but it was after he talked to me at the bus stop when I first appreciated his shoulder length long blond hair. Needless to say at this point, I was attracted to him. I just think that he is so cute! :icon_wink I wasn't sure if he likes guys but I thought that he might have been hitting on me, because he was asking me about my classes and my future plans which was odd because I barely know him and he was taking so much interest in me all of a sudden. One day after this happened I searched the internet for “how to find out if a guy you like is gay”, or something like that, and it said that if you stare into his eyes a straight man will think that's weird and avert his gaze but a gay man will not. Well a couple months later I happened to walk past him, and as I walked by I stared into his eyes; and you know what happened? He smiled back at me! Unfortunately, a whole semester has passed since then and I haven't seen him again. :icon_sad: I don't even know for sure if he likes men. What I do know is that my sexuality is weird. I like masculine women and androgynous or even slightly feminine men. So I want to ask the gay and bisexual men here on EC whether or not men who look and act androgynous are common in the gay/bisexual community and whether or not these men are attracted to other men who also look and act in an androgynous manner. I have found that most gay/bisexual men are just as masculine in appearance and behavior as straight men and that they are attracted to other masculine men. So I want to know if there are many other androgynous men out there who also like androgynous men. I want to know how difficult it might be for me to find a boyfriend because I am twenty-four years old and I have never been in a relationship. I am not interested in traditional feminine women and all the masculine women I know are lesbians, which I can't date for obvious reasons, so I hope that I will have better luck with men.
     
  2. Synthetik

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    I'm bisexual, or more accurately pansexual, and although I think I tend to behave in a relatively masculine manner, I have a surprisingly androgynous appearance. I naturally grow almost no facial hair and very little hair on my upper body, I'm not very tall, my hips are a bit wider than average which gives me a more rectangular frame versus the stereotypical inverted triangle, and the hair on my head is over 2ft long. I've been described as 'one of those pretty boys,' and I am often misgendered at first glance, especially when seen from behind.

    I also find myself regularly feeling attraction to other androgynous-appearing men, and I think it's quite common for people of all orientations to have preferences towards less stringent presentations of the gender binary-- i.e. masculine women, feminine men. I've met plenty of straight men who, as they said, 'like their women tough,' plenty of gay men who, as they said, 'are into pretty twinks,' and plenty of bi/pan/whatever-sexual men who like 'em all.

    I fit into that last category, so yeah, we exist.
     
  3. josh91

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    Thank you for the response Synthetik! I too am blessed with a naturally androgynous appearance. I say "blessed" because my body goes perfectly with my personality which I know is not something that happens often! Rather than having wide hips like you do, I have narrow shoulders so I still have the same overall rectangular shape but I am probably more slender than you are. I also have very little body hair; my facial hair is rather thin and I have a few strands of hair around each nipple and just below the navel, but that is all. I am glad to hear that there are other men with similar attractions to mine, it gives me hope that my sexuality isn't super rare like I have worried that it might be. You have given me hope that it might not be too hard to find someone out there who is right for me. Thank you so much!
     
    #3 josh91, May 30, 2015
    Last edited: May 30, 2015
  4. Synthetik

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    No problem. You're young, you're cute, and women fuckin' dig pretty guys, I'm not kidding-- I'm sure there are plenty of people who will find someone like you attractive. Maybe there have been several who already were attracted to you and simply too shy to act on it. That happens to me a lot. You're right about the shoulders thing-- mine are so broad that I have trouble finding blazers that fit over them, because then everywhere else is too big. The point is, bodies are weird, but everyone else seems to really like them, so I just go with it.