Think I'm a lesbian but I have a boyfriend? So confused!

Hello fellow EC members! :smilewave

Soooo I have a bit of a problem. I don't know if I'm bisexual or a lesbian...although I do have a boyfriend

We got together under dishonest pretences on both our parts but that's not really part of the story, although it is fair to say we've been through a lot to get where we are and because of the dishonesty on both parts, we must keep our relationship a secret (at least for a while) to prevent anyone else getting hurt. And btw, secret relationships SUCK.

My boyfriend asked me out knowing I had came out as bisexual, and he was okay with it. But what he didn't know was that my attraction towards girls have definitely gotten stronger. We're very open with each other and I even told him I thought I was a lesbian but as a stereotypical straight guy he thought it was 'hot'. He didn't seem to take it very seriously but I let it go. I really care for him, and I have a lot of affection for him. We've gone through so much to make this work. But sexually attracted to him as a guy? Hmm...probably not.

Anywayyy yesterday we went out on our first date. We were getting relaxed and chatty and whatever but then he kinda just...kissed me. Literally cut my off in midsentence and full on grabbed me and kissed me...hard. So I have never been more confused than ever. Should I try explaining the lesbian situation to him again?

I just don't know what to dooooo :bang:

I'm a lesbian...pretty sure...but I liked him kissing me? AND he's my boyfriend. But...really thought I was a lesbian. I don't want to lead him on if I think I can't have a sexual relationship with him. But I still care for him a lot.

AGHHHHH PLEASE HELP.

ANYONE

 

When people ask about my sexuality I say I'm bi, but I don't like the idea of a sexual relationship with a guy so I'm not so sure...
I would say I was pan but I see too much difference in genders :/

 

I'm in the same situation! I'm pretty sure I'm a lesbian because I feel sexually attracted to girls and absolutely not to guys, but there's this one guy that likes me a lot and we're having a kind of "thing". I'm very confused about my sexuality because I enjoy kissing and cuddling with him, but the thought of having sex with him repels me so I don't know what to do. I was told here on EC that the fact that I feel very close to him doesn't mean I'm not a lesbian, just that I have a really close relationship with him.
So based on what I was told, I would say you're probably a lesbian because you don't wanna have sex with your boyfriend, but you do care about him and have an emotional connection with him.

 

Thanks for your reply! <3
And that sounds just about right...I guess I need to decide what to do about it now. I want to try talking about it with him again but honestly, the only thing a guy wants when you tell them you're into girls is to watch you and another girl get down with each other...literally O.O

 

I'm dying at giggle stick and man carrot! XD

And that's probably the best way to describe it. I like the idea of having a 'boyfriend' and holding hands, cuddling etc but in bed...give me the boooooobs. So much better than those giggle sticks and man carrots haha.

Thanks for the great advice, definitely going to try bringing it up again (this time more seriously and hopefully without the suggestion of a threesome... some boys these days) haha

 

Yeah I feel that. I think you should ask yourself whether you want to be in this relationship or not. Do you think he would be fine being in a relationship without sex? If yes, that's perfect. If not, then I don't think you should continue it. You shouldn't feel forced to like something you don't.

 

Thank you both! ^-^
Looks like I'll have to think about how to tell him that I don't want the carrot stick. I know he is okay with me having a sexual relationship with a girl on the side because he wouldn't consider it cheating but I do so...that's something we'll have to talk out.
Thanks guys :*