When I was 19, I came out to my parents as gay . However , in the last few years , I notice that I don't feel really strongly attracted to men anymore. I still fantasize about men alot and still dream of a relationship with a man but I barely get aroused by gay porn anymore (still happens but rarely) and when I look at straight porn, I get aroused by the woman's breasts and when I fantasize about women I sometimes get erect but I don't get erect when thinking of men. When I look at women , I don't look at them and think they are hot , I just think "wow she has big breasts" or "wow she has a nice butt". I am not really attracted to women's faces and I don't get romantic feelings for them but when I look at males I think of them in a romantic way and also fantasize about their bodies , but , like I said, I don't really get an erection. I really don't have the desire to get into a relationship with a female but I would sleep with one (however, when I see women in real life , I rarely see one that turns me on and if I do , its because of her big breasts so maybe I just have a breast fetish? ). So what does this make me? I don't know if I could really identify as bi because I don't feel like I could be in a relationship with a woman because there is not a strong attraction. If I really am bi, I would want to be with a man but feel guilty because I would feel like I am "choosing" to be gay by only dating man ( I don't know if one can really choose to be gay , but when people find out you are bi, they tell you that you have to choose between your straight or your gay side). Also, I have a straight coworker friend (who said he doesn't like gays) that wants to hang out with me and go pick up girls . He doesn't know of my struggle with my sexual orientation and I'm afraid if I tell him I am bi or gay, it may cause problems at work and he won't want to be around me . Plus, I am not sure I am all that attracted to women to go out and try to hit on them. Should I even come out to him just to clear my mind? I don't know what to identify as and it is driving me crazy. If I am bi, I will feel obligated to come out to my parents again and I know they wont understand. This is driving me nuts! ugh!:bang::eusa_doh:
Yeah I hear you. I Think it's unlikely that I'll end up in a relationship with a woman, however I do have attractions to them. Maybe I admire them... Not sure. At the moment, I'll identifybas gay because that's who I'm interested in dating and relationships at the moment. Things may change but at the moment this is how I feel. I've told people that Im gay, but more recently told people that I'm bi. I think I'll just stick with gay.
How did people react when you told them you were bi? Did they just tell you that you are really just confused ?
