in the last few weeks i've been really struggling with my sexuality and wanting to come out...but just feeling like it's really not the right time. (see my post titled "should I tell my boyfriend now? or wait?" for why) i joined EC two weeks ago thinking it would help we cope with all these feelings i'm internalizing, but i find all it's doing it's making me more obsessed with figuring all this out sooner and wanting to come out more and more. ever since starting to actually recognize these feelings and discussing them on these forums i have found myself just completely obsessing over it. i'm starting to realize how much i really notice women...i just started at a new work place ~3 weeks ago. there's about 50 people sitting on my floor, and i could recognize every single woman and probably describe what they were wearing the day before, and honestly don't think i could pick out ONE guy in a line up. i just never even look up when they walk past my desk. i just can't stop thinking about how much i want to be in a relationship with a girl. i've become obsessed with watching kaelyn/lucy videos (or similar) on youtube whenever my bf isn't around just to give myself hope that i will someday have that. is the only way to stop obsessing over this so much to just come out? i find it weird it came on so suddenly....a month ago i hardly thought about it. like i comfortably identified as bisexual but was compeltely fine with being in my relationship with my bf and thinking i'll be with a girl someday in the future...no rush. now i feel like there's such a rush for some reason...
do you mean as in during the whole figuring out process it's like you're discovering yourself and the world all over again?
Sorry, I missed this earlier when I was on. I meant adolescence as in that overwhelming sense that everything needs to be figured out. A sense of urgency. Sometimes extreme and fast attractions. Feeling like you missed out or are missing out. A need to find similar peers.
I can totally relate to not being able to stop thinking about it. I can't seem to either and I'm not even sure why. People keep telling me I don't have to decide and I don't need a label, which I'm sure is true but it doesn't really help me to calm down about it. I wish I had some good advice for you. I do agree with bi2me that there is a sense of urgency once people start realizing their attractions.
Yeah - well it's always nice to know others are going through the same thing. I'm not too stressed about labeling actually. I'm just very anxious to be living the life I really feel like I should be. I suppose it'll happen...I just don't wanna try to rush it because I feel I'll be even more miserable in the immediate future if i do.
