The title says it all: when is it a good time to mention you are gay to people? I've known for a month now that I'm a lesbian, but I kind of have this being-honest-compulsion (Had that before I knew I was gay), so now that I am gay I feel obligated towards people to tell them, even though it sometimes is not appropriate and it also sucks energy because I find it very embarassing. So when do you tell it? Do you tell it at your new job? do you tell your roommates? :bang: I'm just so embarassed about myself...
It really depends on the level of trust I have with the person & what our relationship is like moving forward. If I'll never see the person again, I virtually never tell. Coworkers, I eventually told over time & I guess word sort of spread. I typically would rather wait for people to get to know me rather than just outright beating them over the head on our first meeting with "ohby the way, I'm gay." You never know how the other person/party will react.
To close personal friends who've I known for a long time, I tell them when we are together and having a friendly conversation. When I'm talking to others about dating, girls (I'm male) mirage, etc. I tell them so the conversation is more on center and clear. When asked, I tell them. Hope this helps.
I don't know if I would be out in the workplace. It would depend on the place's policy. There are assholes everywhere, and in some places it can cost you your job. And, yes, I value honesty and being true to myself as much as the next person -- but some people need jobs to survive, and jobs aren't that easy to find. Anyway, I usually out myself to new acquaintances pretty fast, not out of any particular feeling of obligation but because it just slips into conversations really easily, like you can very quickly tell a person you've just met is heterosexual, when a guy shows you pictures of his wife. I told my current roommate this year. Actually, I didn't really tell her -- she sussed it out when she saw me kissing a girl. We'd been friends for over a year, and rooming together for several months. Again, no feeling of obligation... I just really wanted to kiss that girl. Anyway, that was really just to say that you're not obligated to tell anyone (why would you be?), but you can if you choose to. And don't be embarrassed. Be proud.
I started with close friends and family. Next step is other friends and church. I don't plan on telling everyone, but if someone asks then I won't lie to them. If anyone asks if I've found a girl yet, I'll just say no unless I feel the need to tell them.
