I want to say first that I have had sex with women previously. It's been several years since my last sexual encounter with anyone. Over the last year or two I have found myself becoming more and more confused. I used to think I was always straight and that would never change. I have to be honest and admit that in some form or another I've always found the male body frame attractive. There is just something about a ripped body that gets my attention. It wasn't until a couple years ago that I started to find it sexually attractive. I've never had a sexual encounter with a man, outside of a few childish curiosities with other boy cousins growing up. It was never sexual just the, "what's yours look like?" Maybe it was more gay than I thought at the time, but the point is I've never had a true sexual encounter with another man. I'm 24 years old by the way. I still find women attractive and let's just say that certain things stiffen upon seeing an erotic female form. However, the same thing happens when I see an erotic male figure. I find things like cross dressing and traps to be arousing. I've even cross dressed myself and self pleasured. Another thing is that I'm sexually attracted to all kinds of taboos. I think I might have an Internet porn addiction. So it makes me wonder if I'm just looking for new avenues to find pleasure or am I really attracted to men. I know that it's insulting to homosexuals to compare it to only a physical relationship. I understand that homosexuals not only find their partner physically attractive, but emotional as well. They are In love with each other and it isn't just about a sexual romp around with anything that moves. I haven't had a steady girlfriend for over 5 years. I still imagine myself being in a relationship with a woman, but now I can imagine it with a man. So this is simple right? It should be. Clearly I'm bisexual. I'm sexually attracted to both sexes equally. However, it isn't that simple. I personally don't believe that one is attracted to both. I believe homosexuality is genetic and that people are predisposed to one or the other, but never both. That is just my opinion so please don't destroy me with hate mail. I'm really asking for someone's help here. I come from the Deep South. You all know what I mean. Raised in church and parents are conservative. Even most of my good friends are anti homosexuality and could be quoted saying things like I'd never be friends if any of you were gay. I have no where to go. I can't even talk to my family or best friends and we talk about almost everything. I love my friends and family and we at very close. But I don't know if they could talk to me about my feelings. That's why I decided to post here and try to get psychological help. Have any of you spoken with a mental health professional to try and figure this out? Was it a good or bad experience and did it help at all?
Hello there! First of all, welcome to the forum! I think I may move this thread over to the "Sexual and Romantic Orientation" sub-forum where I think you'll find better advice for your specific worries and questions. Sometimes things aren't simple when it comes to sexuality- as you probably know, sexuality is a broad spectrum and you could fall anywhere on that spectrum. Take time to consider what 'label' suits you- don't feel pressured into rushing into a conclusion straight away. That being said, the fact that you say that you are sexually attracted to men and women does meet the standard definition of "bisexual". I wonder why you're of the opinion that people can be 'born' straight or gay but not bisexual? Usually the same arguments used to claim that bisexuals aren't "born that way" are the same arguments leveled against gay people. I'm personally of the opinion that nobody makes a 'choice' about their sexuality- sexual attraction is a very fundamental biological impulse when it occurs - and quite impossible to control! It is my firm belief that you can be predisposed to be bisexual just as much as you can be predisposed to be 'gay' or 'straight'. In fact, bisexuality has been observed in lots of other animal species where choice is not in the equation - so contrary to what some people might tell you, it is perfectly 'natural'! I understand that this isn't your personal belief - but I would urge you to do some more research on the subject and not dismiss it out of hand. As you say later in your post, you come from a background that presumably didn't encourage much open discussion about different sexualities. Hopefully you can find some helpful advice and information here that can shed some more light on the subject and help put your mind at ease.
