Pheww. finally got the nerve to ask this one: history: When I was 7 the neighbor boy and girl came to my house to hang out and I sucked the boys penis, when I was 10 I convinced a friend from school to play strip poker so I could see him naked. when I was 11 me and my cousin masturbated each other. since I've started watching porn there has always been gay porn, but only in the last year has it been all gay porn. I feel like I have a crush on a boy. I feel very girly (I think like a girl, boy body parts ehhhhh, I really don't like it due to past sexual experiences with girls, In relationships I feel as tho I have more of the emotional following side, and not the manly leadership side) And finally I use penis shaped dildos to masturbate because I would rather not use mine it brings bad memories. (also it doesn't work too well) so... atm I'm not labelling it because I don't know its all so confusing and I need help Thanks Rue :*
you named quite a few same-sex sexual experiences from when you were younger...did you also have some same sex as well? it sounds like you enjoy physically being with a man, and the idea of it...which might point to you being gay, but not necessarily. it also sounds like you have have had some traumatic experiences? (i'm just basing that on you mentioning things 'bringing bad memories') if that's the case some counseling might really help you figure all this. i know that doesn't work for everyone, but it's definitely worth a shot. I see you're 18 - do you still live at home? or can you potentially get counselling through a university, or even paid for through a job's health care, without your family knowing? (assuming they don't already know about this)
