Have you ever had a friend ask you "so what sex are you liking these days? Y'know cos you're always changing your mind" When I got asked this I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole, I mean at the moment I'm looking out for number one. I'm not looking for love (even though if I found it I wouldn't walk away from it). I'm doing that to figure out more about myself, making sure I'm not hurting anyone else in the process. I identify as bi, but I question myself on that daily. I'm definitely attracted to men and women, but I have never been in a relationship with a woman. I've always seen myself being in relationships with men and thats the way my life has gone so far. I have met and spent time with a couple of lovely girls, but seem to ruin that by saying or doing the wrong thing... or just being a complete idiot, getting scared and running a mile. My friends are all supportive, and are a great group made up of mixed genders and sexuality. But now they're all settled in their lives and know who they are and have partners/children and homes. Where as alll I have is the desire to leave home again, going back to college and on another path of self discovery. Because the first 3 years of college has just leftme even more confused! Anyway, I think I just wanted a rant. But any advice on how to find myself would be welcome :eusa_danc
Hi CharlD91! It's okay to be confused, but you don't sound all that confused to me. You've picked a label -- bi -- and it seems to me it fits you quite well, when you say you're attracted to men and women. Isn't that what it means to be bisexual? Bisexuality is attraction to two (or more) genders. It does NOT refer only to people who have had relationships with men and women. It does NOT refer to all people who have had relationships with men and women (some of whom may be straight or gay). You're a woman. In a world where being straight is the norm, it makes sense to have had more relationships with men, because you're more likely to have met men who were interested. Why do you say you "got scared" with girls?
I've had wonderful LTRs with both genders, although I consider myself to be gay (long story). Anyway, I've always hated the "bi" designation because I would only be both gay and straight if I was in a relationship with a boy and a girl at the same time, which has never happened. So what would, "I like you because I'm bi" even mean to someone? Sorry for being off topic, I just wanted to get that off my chest. I think you have trouble with women for the same reason some guys do. Women can be very intense. It's the best and worst thing about them. I know I'm projecting here, but you strike me as bonding better with men because you relate to them more but loving women more because that is your nature. I say fight the urge to not give into you feelings for women and see where that leads you. If I were a betting man I'd put my money on your relationship with a woman being the better choice for you.
