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Am i asexual?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Nerazim, Jun 13, 2015.

  1. Nerazim

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    Hello there
    Hmm i think i was homosexual.I tried being straight but didn't work.Since last year i have been training myself to stop being homo.So i started hangning with straight men and playing sports.Although i did get attracted i calmed my mind in anyway.When i was young i did have female crushes but when i was on puberty i find boobs and vaginas ugly but i was shocked why i liked men better and and being gay secretly.So i taught myself to like boobs or vaginas.Ive stop watching and thinking about gay porn and straight men.And suddenly i can't get attracted to men easily as i taught myself everytime to hate men and said to myself that im handsome than them.Also whenever i start watching porn or pictures i don't get erections but still not straight.Also i think im an Asexual now and maybe heteromantic.I'm not lying in any sort as i am telling the truth.Also no offencewhen i was homosexual i wasn't very feminine.Those who are girly gays may have a hard time or mybe impossible to change.Is it the lust that makes Gays like for themselves?Being fucked and sucking dicks or kissing or touching nipples or abs? i think so but its disgusting now.What i mean its hard to change.Hmm when i told my classmates and friends that im asexual they laughed.Also one time when i went to my friends house only the boys they watched porn and said to me why aren't you turned on? are you gay? I said no i am not i am asexual and i can prove it by watching gay porn but not erecting at it.So they made me watch for hours but still no erection and said to me yeah your right you are asexual but hey bro we accept who you are.i don't know if i can be straight but i did become asexual but i think girls are beautiful but not in a sexual way.
     
  2. Gravity

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    For the record, I don't believe that being asexual requires "training" yourself, as you describe.

    It might be worthwhile to talk more about what has made you feel like you needed to train yourself not to be gay. If you don't feel like you can be out, that's one thing. But forcing yourself into a label that doesn't really apply may not help either.

    You mention pressure from your friends - are you facing any other pressure from other people as well?
     
  3. littlemoose

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    Hey, an asexual here.

    Sexuality is fluid and can change yes, for a lot of people is stays the same throughout their lives, but for others it changes. However, your issue sounds ore psychological, like you are mentally preventing yourself though you might be consciously doing it anymore. It could be because of the suppression that you did, that you imprinted being with men as gross and now associate it that way. A bit like Pavlov's dog experiment.

    You need to identify why you suppressed for love for men, and why you felt the need to. And if it's self-hate then you need to unlearn that as soon as possible. Let whatever happens, happen. If you don't experience sexual attraction anymore, that's fine. If you do, that's cool also. What isn't great is refusing self-acceptance.

    It could also be a low sex-drive also. Has your lifestyle changed much since then? How healthy are you keeping? Are you exercising, drinking enough water and eating healthy? Stress, sadness, anxiety and depression can also impact sexual desires as well.

    Keep on trucking,
    -L
     
  4. Nerazim

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    Yes it did work.Not thinking about Homosexual Sex for years.Also can't think sex on women but i can't also think sex about men.I don't erect when watching homosexual porn or straight men pics or videos anymore.Maybe i did the possible.
     
  5. Gravity

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    To be honest, I'm not at all surprised if you're not experiencing any sexual attraction at the moment. As littlemoose pointed out, stress, anxiety, depression, and other things can all suppress a person's desire for sex, even when they weren't initially tied to pressure facing your sex life. If you faced that too, then all the more reason to think that your personal and social situation, and the extreme stress you're experiencing, is the reason for what you're feeling.

    Now, I'm not saying I expect you to magically feel better upon reading this and go out and have a ton of sex of whatever kind. I'm sure you won't - working back from this is going to be a process, and that's fine. But I think you owe it to yourself to think about the reasons behind what is happening in your life, and to think about if you could make things better. You don't deserve to struggle constantly with the kind of stress you're describing.