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Is it okay to be gay but have emotional attachments to girls/women?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Sashafr, Jun 13, 2015.

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  1. Sashafr

    Sashafr
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    HI, I'm Alex and even though I've only come out of my closet to a few people i am still confused. I am only sexually attracted to guys however I feel more of an emotional attraction to girls. Does that mean I'm transgender? I'm a pretty masculine guy and don't identify as a female but I feel like I understand girls better and feel more attached to them than I do guys even if its not sexually. Please help me y'all!!
     
    #1 Sashafr, Jun 13, 2015
  2. Purp

    Purp
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    Yeeeeeeeeessss, another fellow Richmonder (though I'm from Mechanicsville, close enough). You honestly don't need to box yourself into a label. If that is what you feel then these are your attractions! Allow them some time and observe them but don't lose sleep over them :slight_smile:. I don't think you're necessarily transgender just because you associate with women better but I don't Know what you feel. You may identify as whatever you feel describes you but that doesn't mean you have to fit it entirely. It's a pretty diverse world we live in! :slight_smile:
     
    #2 Purp, Jun 13, 2015
  3. Sashafr

    Sashafr
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    Thanks, man.....but I am posting this at 11:00 at night so losing a little sleep over it. Anyways thank you for the reply. BTW......VIRGINIA RULES!!!!
     
    #3 Sashafr, Jun 13, 2015
  4. Chip

    Chip
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    Hey. What you are describing matches what a very large proportion of gay men experience. There's a reason why so many gay men have a gaggle of female BFFs... Look at Kurt in Glee.

    It doesn't mean you are heteroromantic or any other unrecognized label... Nor (absent other, very different feelings) does it indicate you could be transgender. The ocverwhelming likelihood is that it means you're a normal, average gay guy who has great friendships with women :slight_smile:
     
    #4 Chip, Jun 13, 2015
  5. Sashafr

    Sashafr
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    Thank you Chip......for calling me normal? I thought in today's society we were supposed to all be called unique but okay. Thank you lol!!
     
    #5 Sashafr, Jun 13, 2015
  6. Chip

    Chip
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    Yes yes... and that's one of the biggest negative byproducts of the failed "self esteem" movement that took over education for a number of years. It's created a generation of people who are desperately afraid of being "ordinary" or "normal." That's one of the newer pieces of research about shame and shame triggers. And one of the reasons why I think it's important to frame things, particularly sexual identities and orientations, in the context that makes the most sense in the broad picture.
     
    #6 Chip, Jun 13, 2015
  7. littlemoose

    littlemoose
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    You could have a different romantic attraction to females? However, you could just house a great platonic love for females as well and not necessarily want to date them. Like the attraction where you want to be friends with somebody?
     
    #7 littlemoose, Jun 14, 2015
  8. Chip

    Chip
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    Given that there's no credible evidence (nor any support among credible professionals who work in the field) to support a difference between romantic and sexual orientation, the above scenario is highly unlikely.

    As I said before, a large number of gay men have lots of female BFFs. It's rather pointless to describe that as anything other than the normal experience of gay men. An "attraction" where you want to be friends with someone is called "friendship."
     
    #8 Chip, Jun 14, 2015
  9. Sashafr

    Sashafr
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    Thanks for explaining that one....I didn't have no clue what that said. But to what you said about the failed self esteem thing in our society. It's true. I have seen so many kids ( and adults, but you didn't hear it from me) who don't do s**t but still expect handouts. Its quite frankly disgusting.
     
    #9 Sashafr, Jun 14, 2015
  10. Nightdream

    Nightdream
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    Maybe you just want to be friends with them? Some friendships can have very strong bondings.
     
    #10 Nightdream, Jun 14, 2015
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