Being a male virgin at 25, I'm struggling with fully understanding my sexual orientation. When I was a young teenager and first hut puberty, I remember feeling strongly attracted to the opposite sex. As I grew older throughout my adolescence, I began to lose attraction to the opposite sex, or anybody. The only person I felt attracted to from 15-19 was my ex girlfriend at the time because I loved her more than anything, and I still have nightmares about her. We never got physically intimate because we agreed to wait until marriage. (She cheated) I don't believe I'm gay, because the only time I ever felt attracted to males was in the early stage in life in which almost all people are unsure of their sexuality - it's very common ages 11,12,13.etc. Since then I've never been attracted to men and feel as if I don't even have a sexuality, hence why I'm still single and it's been difficult to have a relationship. I've even visited clubs to test my sexuality and I still feel nothing, because I don't know the girls personally nor have any feelings for them. Is this a sign of some mental problem or developmental error that occurred in my youth?
When you were with your ex girlfriend, did you feel sexual desires for her? I have quite a similar problem (?) as you, I think I probably have a low drive or maybe demisexual? I may feel attraction when I look at someone, but it just doesn't seem to last and I'm pretty sure I need to have a mental connection to them in order to feel something strongly. When I had a girlfriend I felt attraction for her but now I'm single and most of the time I don't really feel much at all..
Low or no sex drive can be caused by anxiety, depression, hormone imbalance, etc. so if you're not happy with not feeling attraction, it's worth seeing a doctor to find out if this is changeable. If you don't feel the need to change it or if it turns out it's not caused by any of those issues, you could be asexual or demisexual. To be clear, you do not fit the scientific definition of asexuality, but using the definition used by the ace community you may find that it is a comfortable label for you. Are you interested in a romantic, nonsexual relationship at all? You could be asexual or grey asexual (feeling sexual attraction very rarely). Do you feel any sexual attraction once you do get to know them and feel a strong connection to them? If so, you could be demisexual. That doesn't mean that you're not attracted to strangers but once you've talked to them a bit you start to feel attraction. That is well within the range of "normal" sexuality. Demisexual might describe you if it takes a very strong emotional bond with someone before you can feel attraction towards them.
