I'm scared I could turn bi one day.

What makes you think that you could potentially be bi ? Have you been attracted to men lately or is it just a fear that you have that one day maybe you'll fall for a guy ?

You were fourteen when you came out, with years things change and I don't think your friends/relatives would be shocked to find out you are bi if you are.
What scares you about being bi ? Being rejected by the lesbian community because you would have ''changed your mind'' ? Bi-sexuality tends to come in waves (at least for me), I spent the last 5 years being almost exclusively into guys, so much that I pretty much 'forgot' about my attraction to women and could have sworn I was straight even though obviously some things were making me question it. Right now I am currently more into women than guys, I am still attracted to them obviously, but the idea of being with a woman is currently much more appealing to me than the opposite so I go with the flow...So I definitely wouldn't be surprised if someone that identified as a lesbian for years would one day wake up feeling attraction for the opposite sex, and I wouldn't think she was living a lie or was a 'lesser' lesbian because of it. Though I totally understand what you mean by the '' especially because I am a femme" comment.

I am a femme too and I think most people I assume that I am straight and people who knows of my encounters with women still assume that it is either for attention or just for experimentation which is both absurd and offensive. So you are absolutely not unreasonable to be worried that some people may think that you came out as a lesbian for attention or that you were just experimenting and are now straight. If you happen to be bi just reinforce to the people you know that you did feel you were a lesbian at the time but your new attraction towards men proves you otherwise and that you now identify as bi (if you want to label it) but that it doesn't invalidate your attractions towards women and the feelings you had before this happened, because it does not.

Being bisexual and a femme isn't easy but I believe there is much worse in life. Good luck to you and feel free to message me if you wanna talk a little more with a fellow bi/femme !

 

You really need to relax and be yourself. Who cares if you are a feminine lesbian, MANY lesbians and bisexual women enjoy feminine lesbians, don't turn into a butch just because you feel like it would make your sexuality more believable, please !
Like I said I am a femme, and probably very few people believe that my attraction and feelings for women are real and they probably just assume that I do it for attention (like if I care...) but at the end of the day, I am a femme because I like wearing feminine clothes and fashion is a part of my personality and of who I am, nothing more, nothing less, and the fact that I have long hair and more dresses in my wardrobe than the 'typical butch' doesn't make my feelings for women less real than if I was dressing more 'masculine'. I like to believe that lesbians who identify as 'butch' don't dress a certain way or do so to prove their sexuality but because they actually identify and feel comfortable that way, so why should we as femme be and act any different? Embrace being a femme ! No one knows you more than yourself so don't let anybody invalidate you or your choices because of your appearance or because they think they know you better than you do.

People who think one gay/bi/ lesbian or trans represent the entire community is a fool. I have many gay friends and I know that all of them are unique but that yes, together they may represent a part of the community. What they do though is proper to them and them only. It would be the same for you. Nobody would ever expect you to represent the entire community but to portray yourself the best you can. If you feel best as a feminine lesbian then please be so. We need more people in the community to represent feminine lesbians anyway, as most people seems to undermine us.


Once again, if you feel like talking, I am here !

ps: sorry for any mistake I may have made, it's rather late and I had a few drinks :icon_redf

 

Dont waste your time isolating yourself i am doing the same thing to my self..go out have fun meet people and go from there. Dont mind about what are other people thinking about you . F*** them

 

From your posts, I think it's safe to say you have a lot of anxiety, sporn, and maybe nothing I can say can help that... But I just wanted to tell you that you don't have to represent anyone. We're not asking you to be a standard-bearer. I, for one, would be very happy and satisfied if you were just yourself, and to hell with what anyone else thinks.

And as Limning said, anyone who looks at a single gay person, or a single straight person, and takes them to be representative of all gay or straight people, simply isn't someone worth worrying about. That's their problem, not yours.

 

I've had that fear as well, which is why I've jumped to the gay label even though it's not true. By identifying as gay, I can avoid being the gay guy that marries a woman and divorces some time later. If I openly identify add bi, then I feel that people/family will expect me to still marry a woman.

I don't know, it's making my coming out prices much more difficult because I really don't stay gay everyday.

 

Hi,

I know how you feel, i recently came out as gay and now I've started questioning if I'm Bi. Im glad to hear you said it went away, as it feels very much that its my brain not wanting to settle on being gay. I have to compulsively check if straight porn turns me on, which it doesn't.

I think, i've had lots of ocd before, that it could come back, but the second time, you will be fully aware of what it is and able to dismiss it more easily. On the other hand, you could experiment and see what happens. Who cares about a table if you fall in love with someone?

 

Wow, your situation is quite convoluted and it is hard to fathom out exactly where you're at. Seriously though, I doubt a new haircut will materially alter your sexual outlook.

 

Don't become bi just because people think you should.

 

You dont have confidence i got u