I've been overthinking a lot and I'm soooo confused. I can see me having sex with a guy, but not really with a girl (whereas I used to). Despite that, everytime I think of me in a relationship, it's always with a girl. I can't see myself having a romantic relationship with another guy. So, basically, I'll never be entirely happy, because I will always be missing an important part of my life...
You say you used to be sexually interested in girls but not anymore. Have you just become interested in men recently? Maybe your brain just needs time to get used to the idea. If you find the right guy, everything could fall into place. Or if you still feel like you like girls, that's fine too. You just need to find the right someone. But I think you should be open to a relationship with a man. If you've never dated a man before, you might end up liking it.
Thanks for replying. I used to have crushes on girls until, five years ago, I met a guy and just had the biggest crush ever on him. I always liked girls and I remember, in the beggining of my teenage years, I used to watch heterosexual porn. I know I feel sexualy attracted to guys, I just can't see myself in a relationship with one...
I get really really sad everytime I think about this. Please tell me if you've been through the same...
I'm not sure if this might be the case for you but sometimes we can't see ourselves having a romantic relationship with the same sex at first because deep down we're not really comfortable about the idea of being gay or bi. We just think that we are but sometimes it really takes more time to accept ourselves fully.
It might be helpful if you stop thinking about a generic "guy" or a generic "girl", you no doubt have an image in your mind that represents a guy or a girl, but I think you can agree that neither are real. Why not seek to explore how you would feel if you fell in love with George, over there across the room, or with Melanie in your math class? You fall in love with people you know, not some idea of a gender. This may help you with your current dilemma, which isn't really a dilemma at all...
You may also be someone who works better in an open relationship. That might be something to consider. You may not want to only date one person at a time.
I actually agree, I am hoping to try this soon too. I really want a relationship with a girl that I know, but I'm just not confident enough. I'd rather start seeing a guy I like first, and then also see her at the same time... this may sound crazy but I always knew I liked certain guys whereas it's a newer thing for me to like girls. so I really want to explore how my feelings for guys are related to my feelings for girls, because I feel as if they are connected..
I totally relate to what you're saying, you are not alone. For years and years it was just a sex fantasy and I did not want a relationship with a guy. Not only that but the idea of holding hands or even kissing or anything resembling a relationship was always the last thing I wanted with a guy, and I always imagined those things with a woman. I don't know if it will be this way for you, but one day I woke up and everything was completely different. I still can't wrap my head around why - maybe I'm just getting older and my brain accepts this and knows I'm getting to old to fight the truth. Maybe I'm just too close to work or other things in my life and need to get away. Maybe it's a mid-life crisis a little early. Whatever the reason, those feelings had changed, my entire life had changed. Suddenly holding hands and talking all night and having an actual relationship and relating to another guy in an emotional way didn't seem so impossible and didn't seem like such a bad idea. It just happened.
I think that might be part of problem... --------- I have thought about that too, but I'm too needy and clingy and jealous. I don't think I would make someone else go through the feeling of having to split me with another person.
I felt that way for a while, could imagine sex with a woman but had trouble wrapping my mind around a relationship with one and less trouble fantasizing about relationships with men. But for me I think what greatwhale says is true, that I wasn't thinking about specific women, and I realized I could picture wanting a relationship with one friend of mine. (I try not to think about it too much, because it couldn't really happen, but I can picture it.) I still have fantasies about men and I try to just let myself have them but I think I'm having trouble accepting that I'm bi (in my case.) I also think I'm way too "needy" for an open relationship and wouldn't want one, but I think I could be happy with one person if I could find the right person.
Yes, that is the main reason why I think a polyamorous relationship would never work for me... I have met a person who I was attracted to (sexually and emotionally), but he didn't like me, so I'll never know if a relationship is possible or not and I can't imagine myself with any other guy... I feel like I'll never meet anyone who makes me feel the way he did, just by being himself.
