To see my title and know it came from me is liberating and terrifying all at the same time. I was a big drinker who sobered up 9 months ago and have been on this path to self discovery since. Very cool experience. Anyway, I have been spending a lot of time with an older woman who I would consider my closest friend. We talk for hours on the phone, we go on these spiritual hiking trips. I have found myself developing a huge crush on her. And its not a crush like I would get on a dude. Its this overwhelming unconditional thing. I am driving in the car and I start thinking. Oh S! I think Im gay, I yell out loud. My first crushes...Jo from Facts of Life, Sheena Easton back in the 80's with the short hair...the list goes on and on. All women. Even Maria from sesame street I wanted to marry. My parents "corrected" that behavior. I was quite the tomboy. I started drinking it away at 15 and dated as many men as I could. That's what I was expected to do. Right? I lose interest sexually in my boyfriends after a few years and find myself picturing women when I am intimate with them. So here I am, with all this self discovery that I cant control. I live with my current boyfriend of three years and my daughter. Im kind of excited to have this freeing revelation but really, what is this? what is going on and what do I do? wow. go easy on me please. I just really spilled some junk on people I don't know.
Hello! I think that in the end of the day. the answer lies in your heart. Like you I am sure in my heart, but my mind is still, debating. I guess that is why they call it the questioning time. Have you spoken to this woman about how you are developing feelings for her? About what to do I cannot help you because having a kid and a life with a man, is a big thing and it will take time for you to tell them., you should also know that you are still a human and precious.. and that we are here if you need us
