So.. Its been a long long history of living "straight".. And at 26 I'm looking more closely into who I really am. Its not that I have been as straight as a pin my whole life.. Obviously this has been something on my mind and heart for so long. So let me break it down: I've only ever dated men I've only ever been intimate with men But: I'm physically attracted to women, and have intimate desires for women.. A man has never actually physically satisfied me I've only ever pretended to like it. I do think men's bodies and faces are attractive, I'm not turned off completely.. But I'm more turned on to women physically. I'm not really sure what I am, but maybe someone with a little more knowledge of gay subcatagories can help me take the first steps to finding out.
What do you mean by being "physically" attracted to women? And have you ever tried having sex with a girl? Maybe you should try it. Don't worry so much about "categories". Or the "label" they give a person like you. Just be yourself. I'd encourage you to have sex with a girl just for the hell of it. You know, for the hell of experiencing it. Maybe you will like it.
By "physically attracted" I mean that I find women more attractive than men.. In the looks way. I'm not sure about if I'd enjoy a woman sexually or not. And I'm also unclear on whether I'd emotionally be satisfied with a woman because I've never dated one. And as for being sexual with a woman 'just for the hell of it' -- thats not really my style. I need an emotional and physical connection to someone before I get intimate with them.
Well, I only suggested having sex in order to break the ice. But I am honestly not much different than you. I am a guy, and I am sexually turned on by some guys. But it is just REALLY hard to accept that and to approach another guy asking for sex. Even if I know that the other guy is gay, like in a gay club, I just cant admit socially that this guy turns me on. It is EXTREMELY scary.
Are you looking just for sex? If not, maybe you could try breaking the ice with a dating site designed for gay men.. That way you can chat a bit first, have a couple dates.. And let things go naturally.
Yes, its terrifying to think of coming out to anyone. Of course, I'm not ready for that when I dont even know what kin of gay/straight/bi catagory I fall into. I dont deny it though, that its not straight. I'm past the point I think I can deny it. I've ignored and pushed it down all my life. Time to promote self-discovery to myself I think. The scariest part is knowing people will see you differently... Even if they accept it, or support it, I think there will be a change in how people relate to you, and that scares me.
The related factor is what scares me the most. Even if unintentional there is that box you fall into.
