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I'm really confused

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by qwerty1234, Jun 28, 2015.

  1. qwerty1234

    qwerty1234 Guest

    I've allways thought I was straight, but the thing is n the last year , well I'm nit sure anymore.
    You see I'm not mentally attracted to men at all, I don't see mens bodies and think ' he has nice muscles' or whatever I'm just indifferent, but mentally when it comes to woman I do find myslef cnecking out girls. My body is attracted to men and woman , but is more attracted to men, which really confuses me when mentally at that moment I'm completley indifferent. Also with woman I can imagine spending the rest of my life together with them , and it seems romantic being with them , on the other hand although I can get emotionally attractted to men , being with them outside of just seeing because were in the same place it just sounds boring . Idk I mean I have had crushes on men several times but I've never been sexually attracted to them, with woman I'm emotionally attracted and physically but physicallly much less than with men , but mentally the female bidy appeals to me much more than the male.

    Last year I noticed that I started getting attracted to my female best friend, and before I had mentioned to her several times that I thought I might be BI (she's straight) she brushed it off. I really had a strong crush on her but I wasn't really conciouse of it myself. But then I accidentoy walked in on her getting changed and I found my heart beating much faster than usuall , and I was pretty much obsessed with her nit getting hurt in any way be it emotiinal or physcial , anyway I noticed this and across the summer holiday it drove me a bit insane, I felt incredible guilt and felt like a perv , and since my menta, health has got all worse , anyway its been half a year and I ended up because of the stress of my plummeting mental health and confusion over my sexualiry ended up stupidly and rashly trying to make her hate me just so I could releive myself of the guilt , which is terribky self centered . Half a year lateR and we don't talk anymore, but because of mostly my mental health she pops into my head almost everyday and although she doesn't haate me and she has changed a lot since and done stuff I don't really approve of, I still care for her massivly, and my attraction to woman physcially has got more intense. To sum up I just am really co fused right now.