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This is killing me

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Dantehero, Jun 28, 2015.

  1. Dantehero

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    this is the previous thread on this forum http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexual-romantic-orientation/180956-do-i-have-same-sex-attraction.html,as you can see i'm in deep shit,it gotten worse and i became so depressed,how do i know if i'm attracted to other guys?i never felt horny by a dude,it's alot easier for me the get erection thinking about girls/watching straight porn,most of the checks that i make i almost never get erect from gay porn/men.but it's still in my mind and i can't get it out of my head.i look at guys butts and i'll ask myself if i like or not and i always don't know if i like it or not,i trully hope for myself that i will never like this because i don't want this,i want to be straight i love fantasizing about girls and i don't want this to change,i've always had obsessions in my life,i thought i had cancer,i had a fear of developing schizophrenia,fear of schizoid personality disorder,fear of me having asperger's,fear of narcolepsy and the list go on,and when i have this fears i just keep thinking about it 24/7 and i can't get it out of my mind,every time i have this fears i keep searching on the internet for answers,and it makes me feel worse,i really don't want to be gay,
    before this i never fantasized about guys or thought of guys in sexual way,i was always attracted to women and fantasized about women,i was never in love with boys,always girls.
    What's worries me the most is that i'm not grossed out by the idea of sex with another man,i just feel numb to it,i don't think i ever had a boner from thinking about a guy.
    Help me people :icon_sad:
     
  2. Dantehero

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  3. Invidia

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    Hi, dante! I really like your name, btw.

    First, you seem stressed, so have a hug (*hug*)
    I would recommend you try seeing a therapist and talk about your trouble with being worried about all these different things.

    Remember, sexuality is a spectrum. There is, for example, the Kinsey Scale Test. I recommend you google it and do it, it's really quick.
    Let's say you score a one. That means you like girls mostly but you're just a little flexible. Is that really so bad? You don't have to act on it if you don't want to.

    Guys are freakin' hot. If you happen to notice that a little bit, don't beat yourself up for it.
    If I assume that you are honest with yourself and are not suppressing male attractions, well it shouldn't have to change yourself unless you want it to.
     
  4. Dantehero

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    Your comment made me feel even worse,i just took the kinsey scale and got a x,none sexual,am i asexual now?wtf is going on,how do i know if im attracted to guys damn it
     
  5. bi2me

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    It sounds like you could use a counselor to help you through this. Are you sure you answered the questions honestly? If you feel attraction to anyone, you shouldn't get an asexual reading... It's pretty rare.
     
  6. Dantehero

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    Before this i always wanted to sleep with women and fantasized about it,now i don't know if i really want it or not,but sleeping with another guy?this is my worse nightmare,i really hope for myself that i will never be in any relationship/sex with another guy,i just don't want this,i look at pictures of guys naked and it does nothing to me,i don't feel aroused.
    But i don't know..maybe i'm in denial?i started to have a fear that maybe i'm not letting myself to be aroused from this,how do i know if i'm attracted to other guys?
    When i watch a video of straight porn/lesbian i almost always get erect,than i'll switch to gay porn and i will loose my erection,but when i watch it i always question myself if i like this or not,how do i know?!
     
  7. scouse

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    Okay, from what you've said in this thread, your body and fantasies are telling you very clearly that you're not attracted to guys. That's how you know. It seems to me that what you are going through mentally is likely related to anxiety. Your sexual attraction is just the vehicle which your anxiety has latched on to at this time. So, I'd suggest it's the anxiety you need to work on, with a professional preferably :slight_smile:
     
  8. Invidia

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    ^what scouse said. you seem straight to me.
     
  9. Dantehero

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    These checks that i told you about,they're all watching check.
    When i masturbate and check i get different resaults,sometimes i'll think about guys when masturbating and won't get erection,i remember one time masturbating on gay porn for 3 minutes and i couldn't get hard,then it took me 10 seconds to get erection when i saw a girl,but sometimes i can get erection while masturbating thinking about guys,thos this means i'm aroused by it?or it is just the masturbation that's causing the erection,i've tried even to masturbate on a dog and i got an erection so i don't know..,and even if i get erection from gay porn i just can't continue,it's just seem so wrong to me.
    and when i check when i don't touch myself gay porn never give me erection,and straight or lesbian porn almost all the time will give me an erection,so what do you think does this means i'm aroused by gay porn when i get erection?or aroused by dogs?i really wish to never fantasize about guys,i really like nothing about guys,and on the other hand i love women tits and ass i love thinking about it.what the hell is this,please help
     
  10. Juli

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    Dantehero, I mean no offense and this is just a suggestion, but you seem to exhibit some symptoms of OCD or at least obsessive though patterns, the way you get stuck on certain thoughts and ideas and can't let them go. I understand that this post is about your sexual confusion, but it may be that there is an underlying issue causing this in the first place... Maybe you should see a therapist just to talk some of this out; not just the issues with your sexuality (but certainly include them), but all of the problems with getting stuck on other unsettling ideas as well.
     
  11. Dantehero

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    But what do you think about what i wrote?am i attracted to guys or is this just anxiety/ocd,because even when i masturbates it's alot easier for me to reach erection when i think about girls,it takes me seconds,and when i think about guys it's alot harder,even when i think about nothing it's easier for me to get erect then thinking about guys/gay porn
     
  12. Seagypsy

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    Hi there, I've had Anxiety too and that's all this is, it's just become an anxiety problem for you. I know how terrifying anxiety can be, but you should try Cognitive Therapy. You definitely sound straight to me :slight_smile:
     
  13. warthog

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    Dante Hiyah.

    Listen I have a more scientific approach. it sorta worked for me so you should give it a shot.
    You must embark on a quest of self exploration, pack your breath mints and... never mind the rest just try to do some exploration. go to a gay bar, and chat up dudes. don't over analyse just find someone attractive and see where it goes. If it takes you to someplace you like then you know. try the same with chicks, and then you can compare results.

    Draw a pie chart. or a bar chart if that's your thing :slight_smile:
     
  14. Juli

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    I think it's likely that you're a straight guy going through a period of questioning that's making you very uncomfortable. Again, I suggest trying to find some form of professional help. I understand that that's easier said than done, but for your own sake, it might be best to try. That might mean talking to somebody or getting anti-anxiety meds, but you should do something so that you don't have to worry constantly.
     
  15. scouse

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    Our bodies are made to respond to touch. Plain and simple. Focus on what you really want and go with it. But for the record, nothing you've said suggests that you're interested in men to me.
    Now, these checks - they don't seem to stem from interest in men, they stem from a fear that you could be. This 'could be' scenario, the fact you've become fixated on it, points to anxiety. Not to a genuine sexual interest. I'd suggest that the reason you haven't found peace with this is because your fear stems from a mere possibility, a what if, and such fears are difficult to disprove satisfactorily. Thus the anxiety (and compulsion to test yourself) continues. It's a cycle. To get out of that, I'd suggest finding a healthier way to deal with the anxiety and the fear (i.e. replacing the checking behaviour, managing anxious thoughts). The best advice I can give you for doing that is to speak to a professional.
     
  16. Dantehero

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    I did couple of checks today,the first one was me masturbating on gay porn for 3 minutes,couldn't get erection than switched to lesbian porn and got erection in 30 seconds

    Check number two i masturbated on picture of naked men for 4 minutes and couldnt get erection than i checked on female and got erection in about a minute,but i wasnt fully hard maybe like 80%,anyways now i still have gay thoughts but now what makes me more distressed is that what if i want this thoughts,what if i want to have sex with other men and it got me anxious,how do i know if i do want it or not.
    I trully hope that i will never have a boyfriend and will never do anything sexual with another guy :frowning2: