Hello, So I am in need of some advice. First, I'm a young woman involved with a man of many years. He knows of my interest in women and thinks its "whatever," but things have been strange these past 2 years. I was pressured to ignore how I felt when I was young, being raised by a fairly religious and homophobic family. These past 2 years, all I think about is women. My life with one, sexually..emotionally. I see myself happy and with when I'm with him, I feel like something is missing. I don't want one of those "open relationships" kind of deal, he already offered that. And it feels wrong. Physically, I haven't really felt like a normal girl at any point of my life. My demeanor is rough and I recently just chopped my hair off because for whatever reason, I was tired of looking feminine. I feel more comfortable in jeans, a button up and short hair. He is noticing my change of presence and how I act. I feel like my whole life I was pushing into a cookie cutter mold that I simply don't fit. A life changing moment was I was in clubs, and I was dancing.. I hated male attention. It freaked me out and took me off guard. So I went to a gay club.. and I felt for the first time like myself. This sort of calming feeling rushed through me. Like I could relax and be who I felt I was. I haven't been with a woman yet, but I dream about it and I'm becoming more masculine is so many ways as time goes on. We don't really have sex, by choice. He offers.. but I want women. I just am not turned on by males the same way as women. I'm just confused. I don't know what I am. I don't know how to tell him or if this is something we could even work on. Has this situation every happened to anyone? He's a good guy. He deserves to know the truth but I don't know how to go about this.. Thank you..
I think you might be a lesbian, and you should consider this thought, although it's up to you as to what you identify as. But if this relationship is causing you stress and it doesn't feel right, you should end it.
