Hi, I'm a 16 year old junior girl in high school. I've been interested in boys my whole life until freshman year, when I instantly developed a crush on a girl. I wasn't too worried at the time since I have queer friends and accept them completely. I'm pretty confused though, because I've never had another crush on a girl, and I continue to have celebrity crushes as well as real life crushes on guys. Recently, the girl I've been crushing on asked me out, but my parents are homophobic and I have no idea if I should tell them since I'm not too sure about my sexuality. Two years is kind of a long time to have a crush on someone (for me) and I was so happy when she asked me out. But my lack of interest in any other girl kind of worries me. I don't know if I'm bisexual or just going through a confusing phase. I'd appreciate any advice. Thanks in advance.
Hello there! Just some advice based on my personal experience- I came out as a lesbian, but ended up falling in love with my amazing boyfriend. I call myself bisexual now because I know it is POSSIBLE for me to be attracted to a guy, though it is not often that it happens. However- by some people's definition I would still be a lesbian because the other two males I was attracted to later came out as transgender and well- I fell in love with my boyfriend before I was ever attracted to him. So as far as to whether you are bisexual, only you can know, and that may take some time. As far as whether to come out to your parents at this point in time, were it me I would give myself a little time to sort things out- if I were in even a semi serious relationship with someone of the same sex I would come out, but if not personally I'd wait until I was in a position to know I would be safe. While you are unsure, it may bring undue risks if your parents may not be supportive. I advocate weighing safety when making the decision to come out. Will you be in greater risk if you did from your parents/peers, or from yourself and your mental health should you stay in the closet?
I've been through that, and actually realized I was demisexual and lesbian. Or whatever the label is, it keeps changing. I had a crush on my best friend (six months and we are together now) and I thought she was the only exception, but no. Two years is a very long time to crush on a person, and whether or not you find other girls interesting, I think from what you've said, you're definetely attracted to her. And if she asked you out, that is great! As for labels, these change though...you sound like you're heteroflexible. Straight with occasional exceptions. I think you should really go for it. As for family, you have to evaluate what the worst thing could be if you told them and see if it is worth it. If not, you shouldn't tell them. And since you are still not totally sure, I suggest you wait until you have a better idea about your feelings for this girl/ and your sexuality. Good luck
Thanks so much. Yeah I think I'll wait a while before telling before my parents. Your post helps a lot.
