Hi everyone! So I met this really cute guy at work the other day and we really clicked (he even asked me for my number). However; 1) He has a long distance girlfriend whom he really loves, but he wants something from me- he says he has a crush on me. Seeing that no guy has ever felt this way about me, I said that I did too (because i do! We've been able to relate on many levels). He said his girlfriend said that doing thigns with other guys was ok, but i still feel very off. 2) he's trans. He really wants to be a girl, and while I'm supportive of trans people, i just cant bring myself to dating one. I want that relationship with a guy- its a bond ive always hingered for, and since he wants to be a girl, i just dunno how to go about that. I feel lost. 3) he's very emotionally fragile. Hes sent texts like "look I'm lonely and have no one to ever cuddle or kiss or anything". And so on. Im at a loss here. Please help, im just as lonely as he is but i just dont know what to do, especially with the whole trans thing.
Well , if you want to do a relationship with him and he of course , first go on a date with him and discuss your problems BUT: YOU MUST SAY THAT YOU SUPPORT HIM WHATEVER HE IS AND EVEN WANT TO BECOME A GIRL. MAYBE , if he really loves you, he will be still a guy. Discussion is the best solution. And follow your feelings a little, if he wants a hug why not give him (&&&). Second: If he wants to be a girl and so it isnt possible to make a relationship with him, find another crush because you said IF I UNDERSTOOD, you will not be comfortable with him or her GENERALLY : FOLLOW YOUR HEART
I already established that I support him in that-he even asked me if i would go shopping with him for womens clothes, to which I said "of course!" I support him regardless.
Listen to your intuition. It sounds like you've met a desperate person, and this entire situation seems fraught with danger. There's really nothing you can do, if he is really a she and wants SRS. Some trans people "break under pressure", because they want to please their partner, but I'd be willing to bet the vast majority of trans people are more resistant. The relationship might work in the short-term, but it looks disastrous in the long-term. Then there will probably be even more pain accompanying the breakup. I know you really want a relationship, but you deserve better than this!
Thats what I was thinking. I suffer heavy depression too, but I handle it well-he doesnt (he hasnt told me anything about pronouns he prefers, so Im using he for now). He wants to hang out soon, hopefully saturday and if so Ill see how things go.
well i dont see whats wrong with the relationship if its right, but on the other hand ive seen to many break ups involving a gay couple and one wanting to be a woman. but as selena gomez said, "the heart wants what it wants"
