I'm in my late 20s and am very confused about where I stand. It was recommended that I join an online community for some level of guidance. I haven't dated much, but I've only dated men. I've never been in a serious relationship.....somewhat of a commitment phobe. Alright, I'm afraid of commitment, but that's not the real issue. The main issue is that I've been questioning my sexuality for almost a year. I've known that I was attracted to women since I was a child, but I've always ignored it, because I've also been attracted to men and because it's not permissible in my culture; I'm from the West Indies and being gay is not okay whatsoever, there is a great measure of vehemence. As I've gotten older, I've attempted to get to know myself more and to be honest with myself, which is why I'm willing to explore my attraction to women. I've noticed that while I've been attracted to women on a physical and emotional level, I've only been attracted to men on a physical level, but that likely has to do with a poor relationship with my father. I want to try online dating as a way to get to know other women, because I don't live in an area where it's easy to meet new people, but I'm unsure as to how to proceed. I'm worried that my age and lack of a label (gay/bisexual) will preclude some women from wanting to get to know me and I'm not sure how much information to divulge, because I'm private and for fear of scaring someone away. I'm definitely only looking for friendship right now as I figure all this out. How should I go about this period of exploration?
Hi there, (*hug*) I think it's good to explore your feelings in order to understand yourself better. That doesn't mean you need to have a relationship with a girl straight away, you may not be ready for anything like that, but it's good to explore your feelings and try to understand them. I was about your age when I first started doing that. I'm now in my 30s and I have learned some important things about myself and the people I'm attracted to, both men and women. I ignored it when younger too, because like you I also liked men. In my case, I have realised now that most of the men I like are bisexual men as they are less masculine, I don't know if this could also be true for you too? I know what it's like when your culture is very anti-gay. Even though I'm in London, UK, my parents are Extremely homophobic, especially my father, in fact I think they too might have issues with their own sexuality! They are very religious devout Christians and not modern about being gay or lesbian, they really hate the idea :icon_sad: I'm also a Christian but an open minded one who understands that the Bible has been through alot of misinterpretation! And I know that God loves everyone... it is hard though, to go through these issues, and it's always a good idea to take your time to think about your feelings of attraction and work towards knowing what you want. Good luck
One of my parents is actually still closeted. They were outed in a traumatic way and I think that, along with being from the Caribbean has lead to me being trepidatious about exploring my feelings. How did you go about exploring who you are or beginning the dating process? I think the online dating world adds a whole new element.
