Can you realize you are gay at that age or you kind of always knew? I'm 21yo and lately I'm very confused. I always had attractions/crushes on girls up until now with no guy crushes/attractions and considered myself straight.I also had a few relationships and a lot of sex with women.But lately I started noticing those men who are very beautiful and I'm actually aroused a lot by watching and fantasize about a male getting anal stimulation.(from a woman with strap-on, a shemale or even a male although the last one feels weird and I don't a have a face or body contact with them). This fact makes me nervous and makes me feel a lot gay as I feel like I won't be able to have normal sex with a woman again as it doesn't arouse me as much anymore. And since I started feeling that way I never had any crushes again and women don't attract me the same way.. I have a sense of doubt which leads to: "I like her.. I think.." which also makes feel like I'm trying to force myself to like them again.And when it comes to guys I look at those beautiful ones and feel a lot nervous when I do but I have no interest right now to engage anything with them which is either denial or I really don't want?. Until I solve the confusion I don't want to engage with anyone actually as I don't want it to be something forced-a lie. But deep down I know I'm straight but maybe a bit gayish too(like 75%straight 25%gay?) although I still feel I might be in denial. Did you deep down always knew or denial guided your feelings covering your true identity completely?
You can definitely realize later on! I didn't start to pick up on all these signs until I was in my mid 20s...you should read a bit in the "LGBT Later in Life" forum...there's tons of people who don't realize until later...and honestly 20s isn't even THAT late compared to others. Sometimes it's hard to even pick up on your identity when you're still in your teens, living at home, heavily influenced by peers, etc. Not til you get out into the world, live on your own, deal with situations on your own, and figure out who you are. Sounds like you miiiight be bisexual, or like a 1/2 kinsey so you find men attractive but don't (at least now) want to actually engage sexually with them. Although like you said, you might just be hesitant right now and want to do that later..
Hey, i'm 22 and I didn't know till I was 20 that something was up. I was in a 3 year relationship with a woman. So after I realized I was more gay than straight, (I consider myself 75% gay/25% straight if I had to divide it) So looking back at my life, I recognized there were times where I had wierd moments with other men, but I didn't realize this was attraction to men since my core focus was always woman, I just shunned away any wierd moments in which my body I presume was acting upon a man, and acted how I thought I was suppose to act. For me, it sounds like you are bisexual but lean heavily gay, but did grow up straight, with the conception of marriage with woman which represents most of the reason why you have some bisexuality. In other words, you have something for woman, but your innate sexual attraction is men, (atm) and you would be better off, or happier with a man, (atm)
The thing is, didn't you have any signs earlier? Because I look back and I didn't have any signs then.
Whoah... this is literally my story. Same age and same experience. I only had attraction to girls and wanted to date girls when I was a teen however, recently I have been interested in guys. I am not at the point of wanting to date anyone because I haven't had an attraction to anyone in a while. However, I think the key is being confident in knowing that you know what... this is who I am and I can't change that because when someone does come around you will be more open to dating them, whoever that is male or female. I guess right now I consider myself bi, until further notice. Everyone deserves love and it doesn't matter what gender that is with.
im 21 and having the same experience, always been atracted to girls, fantacize about them etc. I started to have same sex attractions for the past 4 months and freaked out, i didnt want to be gay. so i started going to a therapist, with this therapist i realized that ive been gay in denial all my life. She kind of hipnotized me and i remember being in kindergarden at age 5 and being asked by my mom who i liked, i could only think of my male friends, and she told me that i was wrong, i couldnt like men, that i had to like woman... So i think this event is what caused me to supress my gay feelings and force ( i dont know) my feelings for girls. Althought ive never been with a man i can honestly say that im gay. had a hard time accepting it but thats how it is. I think my feelings for girls where learned and forced by myself and society, but thats okay because i love woman even fell in love with one (my ex gf), but come to realized that my love was always more of a platonic/romantic than a sexual one. Sorry for the bad english lol
