Hello everyone! I'm new here. I'm 19. Female. Into STEM. My question is : did my orientation change or what??? It's not supposed to. I was always straight and something happened last year that I began to be sexually attracted also to women. Before, I was attracted to reeeealy many men and probably up to 5 women, who looked entirely like boys or somewhat manly. Now it got way more ordinary. I mean, how is that even possible? ---------- Post added 2nd Jul 2015 at 09:42 AM ---------- + now I'm more attracted to woman than men, what makes it evenmore confusing. + I've been also questioning my gender, but came to a conclusion that I'm either cis female or non-dysphoric-at-all genderqueer.
Before I was attracted to reeeealy many men and probably up to 5 women = I was always straight. I found that quite interesting because even manly looking women are still women, right? I don't know what happened but it's possible you've got more comfortable being attracted to women as well.
Haha I also find it very interesting ! I used to be like that, I always was attracted to girls I guess but for some odd reasons still considered myself straight ? Funny how hard it seems to be for humans to admit their bi-curiosity or bi-sexuality. ---------- Post added 3rd Jul 2015 at 02:41 PM ---------- OP if you've always been attracted to women even 5 out 3,5 billion then you were never 'always straight' being attracted to women isn't bad, I understand you are confused but I advice you just go with the flow, what's the worst that can happen ?
You're right. It's an oxymoron. So: mostly (90%) straight. Is "mostly straight" a kind of being bi? I explained it to myself such that I'm attracted to masculinity more than men in themselves, which prectacally means being attracted in most cases to men and more strongly to men. However, this explaination broke down recently, because I started being attracted to feminine women too. Well, the worst that can happen is that I'm gonna fall in love with a woman, marry her. And not have kids with her but with a guy who donated sperm to a bank. I want kids with someone I know
Falling in love is not the worst, but the best thing that can happen. I think you neeed to start working on your self-acceptance. If you fall in love with another woman - great for you. If you fall in love with a man - awesome. Don't worry about your unborn kids now. If you want to have kids, you'll have them. No matter who you end up with.
I guess it could have been the case of becoming more comfortable. I was thinking a lot about gender identity and concluded that I could also be the "husband" (and would even prefer that to being a "wife"), and having a girlfriend wouldn't be that bad. I also found out that it is technically possible for two women to have sex together in the ocean of LGBT materials, in which I was looking for things about gender expression of butches and other masculine women. ---------- Post added 2nd Jul 2015 at 11:06 PM ---------- No, not that falling in love is bad, I meant the kids issue is quite bad.
If you think of conception that way god forbid you happen to marry a man and you or your husband happen to be infertile. I mean do you even realize that being in a straight and loving relationship doesn't mean that the both of you will be fertile enough to produce and carry a child to term ? Even married to a man you may need to go through IVF with sperm and/or egg donation. Will that make this child any less yours or his ? Would that sperm donor or that egg donor be the one(s) that had been longing and wanting that baby ? the one that will raise them, love them, educate them ? I don't think so. You would still be having a baby with the man or woman you love, you would still love and look after that child with that person and you would still be considered by him as his parents. He won't care where he comes from but will care about the love he received because if you raise him well, he will understand that sperm can come from anyone but being a parent take a whole lot more than that. I really hope you understand that and 'grieve' the fantasy of absolutely having biological children with someone that you will raise them with. It may totally happen, but it also may not for a hundred different reasons and it's a shame to cut yourself off happiness just because of that. Don't mean to sound harsh at all but just pointing out a few things.
I'm 20, and until I was 18 I was sure that I was straight. Now I really don't know what I am. I don't know if preferences can change or if I was just so used to heteronormativity that I didn't consider I could be anything else. But hey, now it's time to consider those things. It's all pretty scary, but you'll be able to find happiness if you allow yourself to. No matter their gender identity
