Hi Guys, I'm a 24 year old male who never questioned his sexuality once until around 9 months ago. Since then my mind has been on an endless journey, going from gay to straight to bisexual and every possible place inbetween. I think one of the reasons that I took so long to even question my sexuality is because despite living just outside of a huge cosmopolitan city, I've managed to go me entire life without any real exposure to the LGBT community. No friends or family members, nothing really. For that resson I think that finding some form of 'exposure'could be a good step in the seemingly painstakingly long process of self acceptance. The only question is how? And that brings me to the point of my post. What are peoples thougts on me going to a gay bar/club or soemething on my own. The being alone thing wouldn't make it weird would it. I live in London, I don't know if people are allowed to recommend places? Or to message recommendations if not? Thanks
WOOOHOO! yes! i think that is so brave of you. 9 months is a pretty long time.. specially if you have never had exposure. I have never been to London, or any gay bars for that matter but it is just fair for you to discover that about yourself. Like you i went to my first bar yesterday and that was very interesting. Idk how i feel about it yet. so i will have to let you know. But it really helps and you owe it to your confused self POWER TO YOU
I think a gar bar is the best place to begin. The anonymity it provides makes the experience less stressful. Gay people are generally very nice but boys will be boys and some will likely try and take advantage of a new person looking to fit in so don't tell anyone it's your first time in a gay bar. It's not as obvious as you think. You have a lot of choices in London. Look for bars that cater to your age group. That will be most of them. I've never been to London but in most big cities the young people's bars center around a small area within walking distance of each other. You'll want to stay in this area. Avoid bars that are a distance away. These tend to be more specialized; leather, s&m, bears and so on. Not that you won't like them but get some experience before going to them. It's totally cool to go to a bar alone, sit at the bar alone, drink alone, even dance alone. Don't spend much time choosing a bar. You will likely be bar hopping anyway. Start by going out as soon as the bars open or around 10pm. You can usually get in without cover and the place will be dead at that time. It will give you a chance to look around without a lot of people about. Near the entrance you should see some booklets on the gay scene in the area. Grab one and go to the bar. The bartender will be busy setting up but he'll be glad to see you. Get a drink and leave a big tip. Take a look at the booklet. When the bartender comes back around tell him you are new in the area and ask him for advice on where to go. It doesn't really matter what he says, this is basically a set up for you. The bartender will know all the regulars including who to avoid. He will remember the generous tip and that you are new so later on when the place is packed he will be a good resource for you. It's best to do some bar hopping. You get to see more and will feel a little less self conscious. You will have plenty of time to revisit the bars you like. If someone starts bothering you or you start to feel out of your element then get out and go to another bar. That simple. In a straight bar when a girl accepts a drink from a guy it doesn't mean much but it's a little different in a gay bar. Accepting a drink from a guy means you might be interested so if you are definitely not interested then refuse the drink. That's about it. Not much to it. Good luck! You are going to have a great time.
I've been dying to go to a gay bar alone for my first time, so all the power to you! And I don't find the whole alone aspect weird at all, it might feel a little strange at first, but I think it might be freeing in a sense. Best of luck!
Hey guys, Thank you for all of your replies. Especially Monraffe, that was a very very useful reply. Essentially everything i wanted to know wrapped into one perfectly presented package! That's given me the confidence to go ahead and do it. Been thinking about it for ages!
