17 year old girl confused about sexuality?

Hey there, try posting this in the "sexual and romantic orientation" section

 

To mods: This thread belongs under Sexual and Romantic Orientation.

Hey Don't worry about that^. I just want it to be in the right place so that you can get more response

It sounds to me like you are bisexual or possibly pansexual.
It also sounds that you're more reserved with women, possibly demisexual and demiromantic, or more shy with them for some reason.

 

So far from what I gathered is, you are bisexual with a lean towards men. atleast initially I did..

At the same time, you are stating this woman you are becoming excited by is your first crush on a woman. This could either mean you are beginning to realize another aspect of your sexuality and have consciously avoided thinking of women in a sexual/emotional aspect until now, in which there may be a lot more of these events occurring. Or, it could just be a rare occurrence, in which I stick to my previous statement that you are bisexual with a strong lean towards men.


You also said you've never felt this way, that could be, just because women and men are entirely different, it is expected to not view the men/women as behaving or looking the same way, or, it could very well mean that you might actually like women more than men.


I suggest you to actually go watch some lesbian porn, and then some gay porn, and see what turns you on the most. It is important to recognize that most porn turns people on even if what they are watching isn't in line with their innate sexuality, but if you try to get into the porn, lesbian/gay, you will recognize one of them hits you a lot harder. Maybe they both will! It's up to you, that's just what I recommend if you are unsure about your attraction towards women, and men.


If there is anything else you can provide, do so.

 

It does not necessarily mean a thing. Porn is not usually an advisable way to find out your orientation.

Could you explain a bit more about your feelings, instead, please?

 

So you mean that you feel butterflies for her? Would you deifnitely call it a crush or not?

Also, have you had similar experiences before?

 

You would think knowing who you're attracted to would be an easy matter. I dated guys exclusively until I was about 20, and than when I dated my first girl I thought I was buy. It wasn't until I really let myself go that I realized that I didn't like men at all. You already know you like men, which is great because it means You know a lot more about you're sexuality than I did at you're age. My advice to you would be not to limit yourself. If you feel a connection with a girl, and you really want to see where it goes, than go for it. Don't force yourself to do anything, but don't hold yourself back either. Also with the porn thing, it might not be a good way to judge you're orientation on it's own, but try to picture yourself in their shoes. Ask yourself if you would really be comfortable doing something like that to another girl, or more accurately, would you want to do that with another girl. You could also simply be biromantic, which means you would date and love a girl, but you're not sexually attracted to a girl.

To be completely honest, the only person who can truly know your sexual orientation is you, but don't be afraid to let yourself experiment a little bit.

 

Why isn't it advisable?

It's a very straight forward way of finding out what you are stongly attracted to, vs, not so much, or less.


Watch the porn, see what happens between two woman, visualize/imagine yourself in the situation and see how you feel. That is imo very good advice. I would bank Porn has helped more people realize their innate sexual attraction than it not.

Anyways, it sounds like the OP is straight with an emotional interest in this woman. She finds the girl aesthetically beautiful as well. If she is feeling a mix of both butterflies and anxiety, the anxiety could be contributed to trying to force something that isn't there sexually. Just a possibility

 

I watched gay porn for a while, but before that I was watching straight and lesbian porn. Now I'm watching mostly straight porn and some gay porn. It's odd how my porn preferences have changed, but I myself haven't really changed; I still like both. I like straight porn more than ever because I can imagine myself as the guy and both parties are enjoying each other, whereas gay porn is almost like two animals going at each other.