Well, now that I have a label that seems to fit my gender, it seems to be time to move on to sexuality? Hm. For several months now, I have had strong feelings for my (female) best friend. I've been calling it love, because that seems to be an easy way to classify it, but that honestly doesn't seem right. I don't feel jealous , or want to go anywhere beyond hand-holding, perhaps hugging...yet I do want to spend far more time with her than my other friends. I think about her entirely too much. When I read/hear descriptions of "love", people talk about being nervous around said person, etc. I just want to be with her- talking, just being close to someone who understands me. She is definitely more than a friend, but less than anything else. Descriptions of the queerplatonic relationships that some asexual and/or aromantic individuals have seem much closer. I haven't felt felt identifiable sexual attraction before, and the same goes for romance. Does being asexual, aromantic, or both seem possible? Also, how would I tell her this, taking into account that she knows about 'everything'?
As an aro ace I'm probably rather poorly equipped to answer this question because I don't really understand what exactly differentiates romance from wanting to be close friends, but I'll give it a shot. From your description, you sound asexual and aromantic. You could call it a QP, but that definition hinges on what the rest of the world thinks of as friendship and what those limits are. If you want to call her your friend and still hold hands, that's also fine. If you want to call it something else, that's also fine. Honestly, this is a conversation best had with her about what labels you want to use. As for telling her, even something like how you started this post could work. If she's in a romantic relationship with someone else, that is something else to consider. Maybe even over email/text/some other non verbal form of communication if you find that easier. Because QPs and other relationships that are not "conventional" lack the common knowledge that romantic relationships have, they also have less strict definitions. Maybe QP fits, maybe it doesn't. All that really matters is that you're both happy with the agreement that you come up with. Hope this helps and good luck talking with her!
